


Second Chance

by Nachuu



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Bottom!Shizuo, Drama, Family Fluff, Inaccurate medical description because the author is so lazy to research, Izaya and Shizuo are ooc much, Izuo - Freeform, Kinda AU, M/M, Ratings may change later, Shizuo being a neglectful father but it will only on the first chapter, Top!Izaya, mention of MPREG, other tags will be added later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:48:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7847518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachuu/pseuds/Nachuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya left Shizuo not without breaking the blond's heart into pieces and left something important for the both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

 

"Shizu-chan let's break up." Izaya said in a low voice. Shizuo looks at him, his eyebrows knit in confusion.

 

"W-why?" He said as he look at Izaya, hurt and confusion evident in his eyes. Izaya only shrugged and looks away at him.

 

"I was chosen to study abroad as a scholar seeing that I have a good grade." He explained.

 

"So you’re choosing this scholar shit instead of me?" of us? But he couldn't say the last word as Izaya looks at him seriously.

 

"Yes, I'm sorry Shizu-chan." Shizuo look at him, tears now leaking down his eyes.

 

"Why? Why did you choose it instead of me? What am I too you?" Shizuo shouted as his tears started to leak down his face but Izaya only looks at him silently

 

"Izaya don't leave me please, I love you" He said in a low voice as he hugs Izaya tightly. Izaya laugh lightly then his laugher turn manically as Shizuo looks at him confused.

 

"Love? You love me?" Izaya said in between his laughing fit. "I'm sorry Shizu-chan but you got the wrong idea." he said as he smirks at the blond. Shizuo's confused face darkened into rage.

 

"What are you saying?" He asked as he glared at Izaya who still smirking at him he clenched his fist tightly the nails dug at his palm.

 

"Oh Shizu-chan did you believe all the things I'd said to you? But sorry to break your bubbles but none of them were true and we don't share the same feeling after all I can't love a monster like you I just took pity on you as I saw how you craved to be loved." Izaya chirps still smirking. Shizuo's glare intensifies as Izaya laughs at him "Poor you"

 

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD" Shizuo shouted in rage as he swing a fist at Izaya's face making the raven haired fly a few distance from him. He stalks towards Izaya and clutch the collar of his uniform. "I fucking hate you Izaya, I wish I didn’t met you and fell in love with you. Don’t ever come back here you shit or else I'll kill you with my bare hands." Shizuo said looking at Izaya straight in the eyes, his voice dripping with hatred. With one last punch he stood up and walk away from the raven haired. "Shit" he cursed as he wipes the tears that flows freely again from his cheek with the back of his hand.

 

 

 

 

**10 Years Later**

"P-papa wake up" A child said as he shakes his father to wake up. "Papa its breakfast time wake up please." His father only groans at him as he pulls the blanket up to his head. Pouting, the child then shakes his father a little harder. "Papa I'm hungry" he whines.

 

"What the- Psyche can't you see I'm sleeping, if you're hungry there's food on the fridge eat that." The blond growls, glaring at the child. Psyche stood frozen at his place, lips quivering in fear.

 

"I'm s-sorry Papa" Psyche apologized quietly. "Don't be mad at Psyche please." Psyche said as his tears start falling. Shizuo looks guiltily at his son but he didn't do anything to comfort his child. Sighing deeply he get up from the bed not sparing a glance at his crying child. He walked towards the kitchen, looking at the cupboard he took the cereal and pour it on two bowls, one for him and one for Psyche then he also pours milk into it, placing the two bowl of cereal at the table he calls Psyche to eat.

 

"Psyche your breakfast is ready." Psyche walks slowly, head bow down as he take a seat on his chair and started to eat his cereal quietly. Shizuo watches his son eats, every time he look at Psyche his heart clench painfully as he was the exact copy of his other parent, the guy who tricked him and plays with his feeling. He growls as he remembers what that bastard did to him. "Papa are you still mad at Psyche?" He look up at his trembling son, he bit his lower lips as he look away from Psyche.

 

"No, don't mind me just finish your breakfast quickly. You still need to go to school today." Shizuo said in a cold voice not sparing his son a single glance as he continue to eat his breakfast not seeing the tearful face of his son.

 

"Yes, papa" Psyche answered quietly as he finishes his breakfast quickly placing the empty bowl on the sink before dashing upstairs to prepare for his school. Half a minute later he head downstairs seeing his father packing his lunchbox."I'm going now Papa." Psyche said as he ran up to his father, hugging his leg tightly. Shizuo stood there awkwardly, don't know what to do as his son hug him affectionately, making up his mind he patted Psyche's head, feeling his son nuzzle his face on his legs, he smiled slightly.

 

"Here's your packed lunch." Shizuo said in a low voice, Psyche took it with a large grin.

 

"Take care." Shizuo said smiling lightly as he ruffles his son's hair.

 

"Yes papa, you too take care, love you" Psyche said happily, looking at Shizuo with large pink eyes. Shizuo was taken aback his son's word still echoing at his ear _"I love you, Shizu-chan."_ Shizuo frowns deeply instead of Psyche, what he saw in front of him was Izaya.

 

"Papa?" Shizuo frowns at the image he saw, shaking his head he looks at Psyche.

 

"Nothing, you should go now." Psyche look at him expectantly waiting for his father to say something but Shizuo turn his back to his child in favor of washing the dishes. Psyches frowns sadly at that, he stares at his papa's back momentarily before walking to the front door. Shizuo glances at the door as Psyche gets out he bites his lip as he clenched the dishes at hands almost breaking it. He feel guilty on what he was doing on Psyche he feel bad for neglecting him, for treating him like that because every time, every-fucking-time he look at Psyche he can't help but remember his ex-lover and he can't help but push Psyche away just to get rid of the painful feeling he feel because he knows deep inside him he still love Orihara Izaya.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone thank you for leaving a kudos on my fic I really appreciates it. So here's the second chapter of Second Chance. Hope you like it.
> 
> Warning: Grammatical errors, kind of mpreg, bottom!Shizuo. The rating may go up later.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything just the plot.

**CHAPTER 2**

 

Heiwajima Psyche the only son of the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro is a very mature kid for his age. He never takes a grudge against his Papa no matter how he treats him because Uncle Kasuka always telling him that he should forgive his father and don't be mad at his him because he didn’t mean do it. Of course he wouldn’t' because Psyche loves his Papa a lot and he knows in himself that his Papa loves him too. Psyche smiles as he remember what happened earlier when he hugged his father's leg he ruffles Psyche's hair, his smile grew wider as he touches the place where his father's warmth still lingers.

 

"You're in a good mood today, huh" A calm voice told him as he heard the scrapping of the chair beside him.

 

"Good Morning Tsu-chan." He greeted to the newcomer enthusiastically. Tsugaru smiles at Psyche’s cheerfulness.

 

"So, what happen?" He asked curiously. Psyche beams at him, his eyes sparkles in happiness.

 

"You see Papa ruffles Psyche's hair and he smiled at me also." he explained while flailing his arm excitedly. Tsugaru nodded at him a small smile touches his lips.

 

"That's good then, I'm happy for you." Tsugaru said as he patted Psyche's head, Psyche smiles back at him a small blush on his face. Tsugaru is his only friend, unlike him who is very hyper and can't be still in one place Tsugaru is the complete opposite of him, he was calm and always quite but despite that he really likes him because he treats him gently and he does look likes his Papa except for his real blond hair and a clear blue eyes. The bell rings indicating that the class will be starting soon everyone hastily head to their seats before the teacher came Psyche straighten his back on his chair the smile on his face still not gone.

**XxxxxxxX**

 

 

A few hours later the class already ended Psyche put all of his belonging inside his bag Tsugaru patiently waiting at his side.

 

"I'm done Tsu-chan, let's go home" He said enthusiastically as he slung the strap of his bag on his shoulder before holding Tsugaru's hand. The two walk quietly on the corridor when their almost outside Psyche's notices that it was raining too hard, he pouted.

 

"Ohh It's raining" he whines "I didn't bring my umbrella" Psyche said looking towards the dark side, he was excited to get home so that he can show the drawing he made on their art class to his Papa but it seems the rain was hindering his plan.

 

"Me too, I don't have an umbrella" Tsugaru said calmly then he pulls Psyche with him as he head on one of the bench inside their school.

 

"Let's wait for the rain to stop here" He said to Psyche smiling slightly as he notices Psyche's disappointment at the weather, he knew that Psyche is so eager to show his drawing to his father, he was talking non-stop about his father how that drawing will make him smile at him again and will ruffle his hair again or if he was lucky he might get a hug. He laughs at how Psyche squeals in excitement earlier he really hopes that his father will appreciate it. He really likes it when Psyche is happy, he squeezes Psyche's hand as he feel Psyche leans on him.

 

"Tsu-chan is so warm" Psyche murmurs as he looks up to the sky. "I hope that the rain will stop soon" he said still looking at the sky. Tsugaru wraps his arm around Psyche's shoulder pulling him closer to him.

 

"I hope so too." he answered but unfortunately the rain didn't stop as it continued to pour harder, Psyche shivers at the coldness.

 

"Are you alright Psyche?" Tsugaru asked worriedly.

 

"Ah yes, I'm just a little bit cold" Psyche said still shivering Tsugaru pulls him a little closer as he wraps both of his arms around Psyche's shivering body sharing his body heat. They stay like that until Tsugaru's mother came.

 

"Sorry I'm late Tsu-kun" His mother told him apologetically then her eyes shifted to Psyche's

 

"Hello Psyche-chan" The woman smiles at him, he smiles back at her.

 

"Hello ma'am" He answered politely, the woman laughs lightly at him her clear blue eyes just like Tsugaru’s twinkle in amusement. She was like a spitting image of Tsugaru.

 

"Mou Psyche-chan I already told you that you can call me Auntie, right" She said pouting.

 

 "B-but" Psyche stutters but the woman cut him off.

 

"No buts okay and don't be shy since you're Tsu-kun's friend." She explained then she turns to Tsugaru.

 

"Ready to go home?" She asked but Tsugaru looks worriedly at Psyche but Psyche notices Tsugaru's eyes at him.

 

"Don't worry about me Tsu-chan I'm fine you should go home now." Psyche said smiling at him but Tsugaru still looks at him worriedly.

 

"Are you really sure, you're shivering earlier." Tsugaru said. Psyche pouted at him.

 

"Of course I'm fine don’t be a worry wart" he said jokingly, Tsugaru's mother also look worriedly at him.

 

“You can come with us you know Psyche-chan and it seems the rain won't stop any soon." She told him. Psyche only shook his head declining the offer.

 

"Thank you, but I'm going to wait for someone to fetch me." He said to the both of them.  He knows that no one will come for him because his father is busy at work and maybe his father didn't notice that he left his umbrella. He just doesn’t want to be a bother at them. The two looks at him then Tsugaru sigh at Psyche's stubbornness.

 

"Okay, Take care." Tsugaru said to him, her mother pats Psyche's head.

 

"Bye Psyche-chan." The woman said to him

 

"You too Tsu-chan take care and also Aunt Sayuri." Psyche wave his hand as the two walk away Tsugaru turns his head at Psyche his eyes full of worry but Psyche just grin largely as he waves his hand enthusiastically when the two of them were out of sight he dropped his grin as he look towards the sky sighing loudly.

 

"It seems the rain won't stop any time soon. I think I should go home now good thing our house is just near." he said to himself preparing to run at the pouring rain.

 

He was halfway through their house when he heard a familiar neighing sound when he turns his head at the sound he saw a black motorcycle and a woman clad in black with a yellow cat-eared helmet parking at his side. The woman unmounts her bike as she waved her hand creating a raincoat out of her shadow wrapping it to Psyche.

 

[P-P-Psyche what are you thinking running through this heavy rain?] The woman typed frantically showing her PDA at him. Psyche scratches his cheek sheepishly

 

"Well, Psyche forgot his umbrella." He said fidgeting.

 

[But that's not a good reason to go home at this weather, you should have wait for someone to fetch you.] She typed, Psyche look down at her.

 

"W-well Psyche doesn’t know if someone will come to get him so Psyche decided to go home by himself, please forgive me A-aunt Celty." Psyche said his voice cracking Celty looks at him in guilt.

 

[Err don't worry it's actually my fault too I read your father's message a little bit too late] She showed Psyche her PDA then retrieves it again so that she can type a new one. [So hop on the bike so I could take you home.] Psyche smile widely at the note on Celty's PDA his father didn't forget about him.

 

"Really?" Psyche asked his eyes twinkles in happiness, Celty looks down at him if she had her head right now she's sure that she's smiling fondly at Psyche instead she typed at her PDA and shows it to Psyche before patting his head affectionately

 

[Yeah, so come on let's get you home and change your clothes you’re soaking wet.] Psyche smiles widely at her, nodding his head before running to the black bike, Celty watch him fondly before mounting at her bike. Psyche was in front of her and she waves her hand making a helmet made of her shadow for Psyche and start making their way to Shizuo's house. When they've arrive Celty immediately ushered Psyche inside as she told to Psyche to remove his wet clothes before running a warm bath for Psyche she noticed earlier that Psyche was shivering and sniffling non-stop. When Psyche remove his clothes he then head to the bathroom where she saw Celty testing the water.

 

[It seems warm enough, come on get into the bath before you get sick.] Celty typed at her PDA, Psyche then nodded to Celty with a smile before his nose scrunches and start sneezing again with a little bit of coughing his eyes watered. Celty flails her arms worriedly as she ushered Psyche to the warm bath. After the warm bath Celty wrapped Psyche in fluffy pink towel then head to his bedroom too change clothes. Psyche wore a warm pink and white hoodie and white sweat pants, after changing his clothes the two head to kitchen.

 

[Wait here] Celty typed then walked to the refrigerator to get the milk and pour it to the glass before heating it up to the microwave when it deemed okay she gave it to Psyche who is sniffling on his seat.

 

[Here drink it up.] Psyche took the warm glass at Celty and smile.

 

"Thank you, Aunt Celty." He said before taking a sip at his milk.

 

It will soon to evening when Celty decided to go home with Psyche convincing her that he will be fine, Celty look at Psyche unsure if it's really okay to go home. Psyche smiled at her his most convincing smile, Celty look at her for a second before slumping her shoulder in defeat and type at him to remind him that she'd already re-heated his dinner and left it at the table and he should take care and then she took her way to her home.

 

Psyche was sitting on their sofa, he was wrapped with his blanket as it was still cold and still raining hard outside. He's still waiting for his Papa to come home he was so excited to show his drawing to him, his dinner completely forgotten. He looked down at the piece of paper and smiles brightly but his smile turn to frown as his nose scrunches before sneezing repeatedly, scratching the underside of his nose he wrapped the blanket tighter around him and look at the door to wait patiently for his Papa to come until he fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! Here's another chapter for you guys. Thank you for checking my fic. Enjoy reading.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: Same warning as usual and an author's rant at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> Disclamer: I don't own Durarara!! or any of its character. I only own the plot.

**Chapter 3**

 

Shizuo took a long drag of his cigarette as he tilts his head upward to release it out of his lungs, the sky was cloudy and dark he noticed matching his bad mood. The reason of his bad mood is the punk Tom currently speaking to, doesn‘t want to pay his debt, he watched as Tom talk to him calmly while the punk just scream and cuss at him. When the punk grabbed the collar of Tom's suit, Shizuo's vein popped, his cigarette snapped into two, he marched toward the two while growling when the punk noticed him his hold to Tom's loosened as he stare at Shizuo's form, towering him and started to shake.

 

"Hey you punk! Pay up or I'll gonna smash your head on the pavement?" he growls, the punk shook in fear as he fishes his wallet and pays his debt with a stuttered 'I'm sorry' and closed the door with a loud bang. Tom sighs as he counted the bills.

 

"Sorry 'bout that Tom-san" He apologized.

 

"Don't mind it" Tom said with a smile, Shizuo nodded his head as he lit up another cigarette. The two were walking to their next client when the rain started pouring hard, they immediately run for shelter.

 

"Crap." Tom said while looking up the sky "We may not finish early, we still didn't reach the quota for today." Shizuo grunted as response, he too was looking at the sky when he remembers something.

 

"Shit!" He cursed loudly as he fishes his phone from his pocket, Tom looks at him confuse but didn't asks anything. Shizuo hastily type a message on his phone and when he deemed that it was okay he hit the send button and put it back to his jeans pocket.

 

"What was that?" Tom asked him curiously, Shizuo scratches his cheek meekly before answering.

 

"Ah well, Psyche forgot his umbrella so I texted Celty if she can fetch Psyche for me since I still have a job to finish." Shizuo said while looking at the dark sky. Tom chuckled at his answer, Shizuo looks at him in question. Tom then smiles softly at Shizuo.

 

"I'm just glad that you're showing concern to Psyche." He said with a smile, Shizuo looks away from him not answering. Tom sighed at that.

 

 

"You know Shizuo, you should express your love to Psyche more." Tom said a little concern, Shizuo looks at him with furrowed eyebrows.

 

"I know Tom-san but I can't, every time I look at Psyche I always saw that bastard. What if it's not just the face he got? What if he's just like his father? What if he also left me? I don't think I will make it if he also leaves me." Shizuo said weakly. Tom sighed at his answer.

 

"Shizuo look, Izaya and Psyche are different. Psyche would never leave you that kid really loves you, you know." Tom said with a smile, the frown on Shizuo's face still not leaving his face he's not sure if that's the case. Izaya told him that he loves him but what did he do? He just toys with his feeling, mocks him and leave him after that.

"But-" before he could finish his sentence Tom beat him to it."No buts just do it okay or you may regret it later." Tom said seriously, Shizuo purse his lip into thin line.  He looks at Tom before muttering a weak yes, Tom smiles softly at him. "Good" The two waited for the rain to stop but it seems the weather won't stop anytime soon so they waited a little bit and as soon as the rain start to weakens they run to their office to get an umbrella before continuing their job, good thing their office is just nearby. An hour later Shizuo receives a text message from Celty.

 

[I'm sorry, I read your message a little bit late. I saw Psyche running on the rain he was drench from head to toe. Don't worry as soon as I get him home I’ll warm him up.]

 

Shizuo reads the message again, a little worried for Psyche. A stab of guilt crawls on his chest. He really should take care of Psyche. He felt awful.

 

[It's fine. Please take care of him. Thanks Celty] He replied immediately before putting the phone back to his pocket.

 

 

It was late when the two finish their quota for that day. As soon as Tom told him he could go home now, he said his thanks and immediately run off to his home. A little worried on Psyche, earlier Shizuo recieved a message from Celty again telling him that Psyche was continuously sneezing and coughing. He wanted to check Psyche if he's okay but he can't just run and go home because he is still working and he can't just leave Tom with those scumbag. When he got home what he saw makes his heart swell in worry and guilt. There Pyche lying on the couch wrapped with thick blankets, his face is red and panting really hard. Shizuo walk toward Psyche and touch his forehead, he immediately retrieve his hand. "Shit." he cursed before going to his bedroom to change his wet clothes into something warm then run downstairs to carry Psyche to his room, he placed him on his bed and run to the bathroom to get a wet towel and a thermometer. When he get those he immediately go back to where Psyche is, he place the wet towel on his forehead and put the digital thermometer on his armpit. When the digital thermometer beeps, he then checks it. 39°c it reads, he place the thermometer on top of his drawer beside the bed and start wiping Psyche's body with another wet towel to cool him off, Psyche's eyelids flutter.

 

"P-papa?" Psyche rasped. Shizuo looks down at him worriedly.

 

"Hhmmn.. What is it dear?" Shizuo asked with a soft voice. Psyche smile at him his eyes were glazed.

 

"Okaeri Papa." He said with a coughed. Shizuo frowns worriedly as Psyche started coughing violently, he pulled Psyche into a sitting position to rub his back gently.

 

 

"Ssshh.. Tadaima, now stop speaking and rest okay." Shizuo said gently still rubbing his child's back. When Psyche calms down, he gently lay him on the bed and reposition the wet towel on his forehead. He stands up to get some water but before he could reach the door Psyche grabs the hem of his shirt.

 

"P-papa don't leave Psyche." he said weakly. Shizuo looks at Psyche for a second before bending down to caress Psyche's warm cheek.

 

"I'll be back okay, I'm just going to get you a glass of water." Shizuo said while caressing Psyche's cheek. Psyche's hold to his father's shirt tightens.

 

"Really? Y-you'll be back?" He asked a little hopeful. Shizuo smiles softly.

 

"Yes, so be a good boy and rest okay." Shizuo said before kissing his child's cheek and lifting the blanket up to his chin. Psyche's hold loosened then smiled weakly at his Papa.

 

"Okay" with one last smile he turn around and head to the kitchen downstair to get a glass of water and a medicine in their first aid kit. Opening the fridge to get a water for himself then he closed the fridge and turns around, he notice the food he made earlier are in there wrapped in a flimsy plastic wrap and left untouched, Shizuo frown. "Psyche didn't eat his dinner." he muttered to himself. He then decided to make a simple rice poridge for Psyche since he couldn't stomach heavy foods because of his sickness. He gathers the ingredients for the porridge and started cooking it.

 

While waiting for the rice to cool off he heads to the living room to clean the mess, he noticed something on the table. A piece of paper, his heart flutters and at the same time his chest burned with guilt when he saw what was written on it, he picked the paper up and look at it. The paper were lined with different colors and shape but what hit him the most is the two stick figure hands lock in a somewhat holding hand gesture and the figures resembles him and Psyche, a word written in a pink crayon inside the speech bubbles beside the tiny stick figure **_‘Psyche loves Papa’_**. He bit his lower lips to suppress the sob that threatening to escape from his lips. Tom-san was right Psyche really loves him, even though he always neglects him. Why did he think that Psyche is just like Izaya. He's such an idiot. Of course the only things that Psyche got to his other parent is his face nothing more, nothing less. His sobs grew louder as he clutches the paper on his chest.

 

After his emotional outburst, he prepares Psyche's dinner and head upstairs. When he enters the room he saw Psyche waiting for him, his back resting on the pile of pillows. When he saw his Papa enters the room his eyes lit up and smiled.

 

"Papa” he croaked. Shizuo frowns in worry, he walks towards his son and place the tray of porridge and water aside and take a seat beside his son.

 

"What are you doing? I told you to rest right?" Shizuo said in worry as he arrange Psyche' in a more comfortable position. Psyche looks down on his lap.

 

"I'm sorry Papa. But Psyche got worried that it is just a dream and not real." Psyche said in a low voice. Shizuo's eyes started to water again as he look at his neglected son. Without a second thought he wrapped his arms around Psyche and kisses his forehead.

 

"No it's not your fault, it's Papa's fault for not taking good care of you, for not showing how much Papa loves you. So I'm sorry Psyche, Please forgive Papa for everything." Shizuo said while sobbing loudly, his arms wraps tightly on his son but not tight enough to crush or suffocate him. Psyche tiny fingers were clutching Shizuo's shirt as he burrows his head on his Papa's chest. Shizuo could feel his shirt getting wet but he didn't mind it.

 

"Psyche's forgive you. I love you too, Papa" Psyche said, his voice were muffled. Shizuo then pulls his son away from his chest then caress Psyche's cheeks with his thumb, wiping his tears before kissing his son's forehead again.

 

"Thank you." Shizuo said with a smile, wiping his tear streak face, then ruffles his hair. "Come on Pysche, I made you porridge. Eat it so that you can drink your medicine." Psyche nodded. Shizuo then reaches the bowl of porridge, scooping a spoonful, blowing to make sure that it's cool enough for Psyche.

 

"Here." Shizuo offers the spoon, Psyche open his mouth to take the spoon full of porridge.

 

 

When Psyche finishes his food, Shizuo gave him his medicine and water, Psyche gladly take it and when his Papa tucks him to bed, he grabbed the hem of his shirt, Shizuo turn to look at his son.

 

"Papa can you sleep beside Pysche?" Psyche asked quietly, Shizuo smiled softly at his son and ruffles his hair.

 

"Sure." he said, bending down to kiss his son's forehead. He then head downstairs to put the dishes on the sink deciding to wash it tomorrow morning and placing the pitcher back in the fridge. When he close the door of the fridge Psyche's drawing greet him, he stares at it for a minute and smiles softly at the additional details he put earlier. **‘ _Papa loves Psyche_ ’ **was written in brown crayon inside the speech bubble beside the bigger stick figure. He turns around to head upstairs where his son waiting for him, when he open the door he saw Psyche was already sleeping. There is a large space beside him, smiling as he lay down beside him and wraps his arms around his son not minding the heat Psyche’s body was radiating, hoping for his son to feel better tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you for reading this fic of mine I really appreciate it. As you can see the reason why it took me so long to update this is because of school, we have lots of IMCs need to make and also shooting for our weekly challenge on AVP and Finals will start soon. YEAH HOORAY FOR SCHOOL WORKS!! //sarcastic cheer. And aside from that my house and my school where I studied is very far from each other (LOL) it took me almost 3 hrs for commuting to and fro so yeah time consuming. That’s why I decided to type my fics on my phone while traveling because that’s the only free time I had but not too long ago on my way home my phone almost, almost snatch from me. Good thing is that I had a really tight grip on my phone and very sweaty hands so it just slips from his hand. My gosh I was trembling and shaking for a minute and I didn’t realize that I have been traumatized by what happen not until my classmate pranks me, my whole body froze and all. So I decided not to type my fic when I’m in public transportation //sobs miserably. So it may take another month or two to update Second Chance. So please wait patiently and bear with me until I could find a time to write the next chapter little by little. Again THANK YOU FOR READING AND LEAVING A KUDOS ON MY FANFIC I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. (Also it really helps in boosting my confidence in writing because I’m an aspiring copywriter.) //heart emoticon
> 
> (note: this rant is a copy-paste from my other fic. xD)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Helloooooo!!!! I'm still alive. hahaha just wanted to thanks all the people who check, left a kudos, bookmarked and commented how they like my story I really appreciate it and it put a smile on my forever glaring face. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! I actually gonna post it on Shizuo's birthday but naahhhh!! I tend to forgot some things so I'll just post it today. I know I been gone for a long time but don't worry I'm going to finish this fanfic of mine no matter how lazy I can be. Again thank you so much and without further ado on with the story!!!
> 
> Warning: Same warning as usual.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara and any of its character.

Chapter 4

 

Psyche woke up with a warm heat radiating beside him, an arm wrap around his lithe torso. He blinked his sleepy eyes as he look at the person beside him. A smile appears on his lips as he saw who is sleeping beside him.

'Papa' he thought happily as he snuggled closer to his father. He remembers what happen last night. He was waiting for his father to come home even though he's not feeling well, he wait patiently for him until he fall asleep because of tiredness. He also remembers how his papa takes care of him and he even hugs him and sleep beside him. He snuggle closer to his father, his smile never leaves his face.

His father stirs in his sleep, signaling that he is waking up. When Shizuo open his eyes the first thing he saw is Psyche beaming brightly at him.

"Good morning, Papa" Psyche greeted his papa with a bright smile. His father blinked at him before smiling gently.

"Good morning, baby. How's your sleep." His father asked then place his hand on Psyche's forehead. "Are you feeling better now?" He asked worriedly. Psyche nods at his father with a happy beam but his father frowns slightly at him

"I think you're still not okay, you still have a slight fever." His father said worriedly. Psyche pouted at him.

"But papa I'm feeling well no-" Before Psyche could finish his sentence it was cut off by a cough. Shizuo rub his back worriedly.

"See." Shizuo said worriedly still rubbing his son's back. Psyche hugs him tightly.

"Papa, don't be mad at Psyche." Psyche said in a tiny voice, his fingers clutching tightly at his father's shirt.

"Why would I be mad at you? Shizuo asked as he hugs his son back.

"B-because Psyche's still not feeling well." Psyche said with a sniff. "I don't want *hic* you to *hic* leave Psyche again." Psyche sniffs as tears swells on his eyes. Shizuo hug his son closer to him as he comforts his son.

"Sshh, baby I'm not mad I'm just worried and I'll never leave you so stop crying now." Shizuo said in a gentle voice as he threads his fingers to Psyche's soft hair.

"R-really?" Psyche peaks at his father and Shizuo nods at him with a gentle smile.

"Really." Shizuo assured his son then kisses his forehead before standing up and grab a pair of clothes for Psyche. "Come on, change your clothes because it soaked of sweat and after that let's have breakfast." His father said. Psyche nodded enthusiastically as he removes his shirt and reaches the sweatshirt his father picks for him.

"I'm done papa." Psyche said and Shizuo nodded at him.

"Let's have breakfast downstairs." Shizuo said to his son but Psyche only stares at him, chewing his lower lip.

"P-papa, can you carry Psyche?" Psyche said with a small voice as he raises his arms, his eyes shifting lower. Shizuo smiles at how his son looks adorable. There's a warm feeling spreading on his chest and he like it. Why did he not do this a long time ago? Why did he was so caught up in the past to the point of neglecting his son. If he just forget what happen to him and with Psyche's other father and just give all the love Psyche's deserves then he could experience this feeling a long time ago.

"Okay" Shizuo said as he lifted Psyche on his arms and gives his son a smooch on his cheek. Psyche wraps his arm around his neck and also gives his father a smooch on the cheek.

"I love you Papa." Psyche said happily, a healthy blush on his plump cheek. Shizuo smiled at his son, his eyes soften and look lovingly at his son.

"I love you too, Psyche." Shizuo patted Psyche's head then walks to the kitchen downstairs while Psyche's happily snuggling on his neck.

"I'll prepare hot porridge for you since you're still having a slight fever. Is that okay with you?" Shizuo asked as he place Psyche at one of the chair in the kitchen.

"Hmn, okay." Psyche nodded. Shizuo then ruffles his son's hair before preparing for their breakfast.

Psyche watch his father prepares for their breakfast, his smile not leaving his face. He can't believe it, his papa told him that he loves him too. This is the happiest day for him except for having a fever because he hates making his father worried. Psyche's eyes wanders, stopping at the paper that pinned on the fridge. His eyes widen as he realized that it was his drawing.

"Papa!" Psyche shouted at his father. Shizuo look at his son, wondering why he called him suddenly. "Papa, you saw my drawing already? Did you like it?" Psyche asked his pink eyes gleams in excitement. Shizuo puts the final ingredients on the porridge he's making before covering the pot and waits for it to cook before unpinning the drawing and head to the table.

"Yes baby and I really like it." Shizuo says to his son then points at the addition he puts last night. "I added some too hope you don't mind." Psyche shakes his head.

"Nope, I don't mind. I like it too." Psyche said tracing the words **_'Papa loves Psyche'_** with his finger. "Ne papa, c-can we frame it?" Psyche asked shyly.

"Sure." Shizuo agreed. "I think I have some unused frame here, I look for it later." Psyche beamed at his father.

"Really? Yehey! Then it will be like our first photo together." Psyche said happily. Shizuo look at his son in shocked a tug of guilt and sadness pull on his heart. There is no single photo of them together and all the photo of Psyche that Shizuo have. Psyche has a picture together with his Uncle Kasuka, Uncle Shinra and Auntie Celty but doesn't have any single picture of his father ever since he was born. The thought make his stomach churns in guilt. How can he be so selfish only thinking of himself? 

"P-papa? Are you okay?" Psyche's worried tone cut his train of thought, he look at his son with affection and hug him tightly.

"Psyche I'm sorry for everything. Papa really regrets for treating you like that, for neglecting you and pushing you away. I'm really sorry." Shizuo apologized at his son, tears streaming down his face. He already apologized at his son last night but for him it still not enough. He wants to make it up to Psyche. He wants to do all the things that Psyche didn't experience when he was still learning to walk and speak. He wants to bond with his son properly and to make him feel that he was loved by his father. He felt his son's tiny hand rubs at his back comfortably.

"Papa, don't be sorry. I know that you didn't mean to neglect Psyche and even thought you push Psyche away, I know you love Psyche because Uncle Kasuka always telling me that Papa loves me so I'm not mad at you. I love you papa." Psyche said to his Papa, crying.

"Thank you Psyche, I love you too." Shizuo said, kissing his son's forehead. He was grateful to have a son like Psyche. No matter what he did in the past he still forgives him and continue loving him. He really was an idiot for thinking that Psyche is just like his other father. "Let's take some real family picture of us later, okay." Shizuo said ruffling his son's hair and Psyche beams at the idea of them taking a picture together.

"P-papa the porridge is overflowing!" Psyche said in panic. Shizuo turn to the stove and immediately uncovers the pot, cursing under his breath. He stirs the porridge and turns the stove off before serving the porridge.

After eating their breakfast Shizuo cleans the kitchen and washes the dishes while Psyche's taking a rest on their sofa, it was a good thing that today is weekend and Psyche will not be mark as absent in school since he still have a slight fever while Shizuo already called Tom earlier to tell him that he will be absent today which his boss assured him that it was fine. When he finishes all the dishes he went to the sofa and take a seat besides his son. Not a minute pass the doorbell rings. Shizuo stand up to look who it was since he doesn't expect some visitors today.

"Hey, Shizuo-kun." Shinra greeted enthusiastically for Shizuo's liking when he opens the door.

"What are you doing here?" Shizuo asked confuse.

"My beloved told me that Psyche was coughing violently last night so me being a good godfather to him went here to check him up, right my beloved Cel-. A jab on Shinra's side cut off his speech.

[Shizuo is Psyche alright?] Celty typed on her PDA and shows it to Shizuo before retreating it to type another sentence.

[Does he got sick? I'm really sorry Shizuo if I could just read your message earlier this wouldn't happen.] Celty typed worriedly. Shizuo smiled at his best friend.

"It's fine Celty this is not your fault." Shizuo assured his best friend. "And Psyche is okay now just a slight fever."

"Papa who's there?" Psyche asked as he too went to the front door. When he saw who are their unexpected visitors Psyche happily run and hug his uncle.

"Uncle Shinra!! I miss you" Psyche said as Shinra lifted him to his arms.

"I miss you too Psyche-chan. How's my favorite godchild?" Shinra asked in a happy voice.

"I'm fine" Psyche answered

"Okay okay as much as I don't want to ruin your mini reunion but we need to get inside because Psyche still have a light fever." Shizuo said as he ushered them inside his house. The two looks at him in surprise and Shizuo can't help but feel irritated at his friends’ stares.

"What?" He asked in irritation.

"Nah, it just surprised me that you’re showing Psyche some care." Shinra said nonchalantly. Shizuo flinched at that, Celty noticed his reaction and jab Shinra's side and show him something on her PDA. Shizuo only sighed at that after all he kind of understand why they are surprise at his sudden change of affection on Psyche.

[I'm glad that you're starting to show your care at Psyche] Celty typed then shows it to Shizuo.

"Right. I should have done it long ago."  Shizuo said in a low voice before sighing. "It took me many years to realize that Psyche and that asshole are different." Shizuo continued. Celty started to typed at her PDA and shows it to Shizuo.

[It's not your fault to think that way after how Izaya left you of course you don't want to feel that way again.]

"I know but I still feel guilty on what I did to Psyche all this years."

[That's why you should start showing Psyche how much you love him. It is still not too late, Psyche really loves you so don't be afraid to show how much you care for Psyche.] Shizuo smiled gently at Celty before looking at Psyche and Shinra who are talking to each other in which he assumes some random topics. He was glad that he has friends that will support him no matter what happen.

"Thanks Celty." Celty patted him on the back before showing him her PDA.

[You're always welcome.] He can guess that Celty is also smiling softly at him if he have a head.

"I'll just make some drinks for us." Shizuo said and Celty nodded at him. As he prepare the drinks Shinra enter the kitchen with a serious face.

"Shizuo there is something I need to tell you that's why I'm here." Shinra said in a serious face. Shizuo looks at him confused as why Shinra looks so serious.

"What is it?" He asked.  
  
"He's back." Shinra said without hesitation. Shizuo went rigid at what he heard.

"W-who's back?" He asked in a low tone. He already have an idea on who is back but still don't want to admit that he was right.

"Izaya. Izaya is back." At that Shizuo's mind went blank and the only thing that could be heard inside the kitchen is the sound of the glass crashing to the floor and breaks into pieces.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can talk to me on twitter if you like @kurou_shi


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: AND THE AUTHOR WHO LIKES TO PROCRASTINATE WAS BACK!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Did anyone miss me?? Ofc no one! who would miss me anyway. Hahaha
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways here's a somewhat long chapter for my long absence. Hope you enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: Same warning as usual. 
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara and any of its character

Chapter 5

 

Izaya's back! Izaya's back! He's back! THE BASTARD IS HERE!! Shizuo's mind went blank and the only word he keeps hearing is that the bastard is finally back. He just stood there staring at Shinra with widen eyes.

 

"...pa!! PAPA!!" Hearing Psyche's voice broke his trance he glances at his son so fast, he felt something stings in his neck. 

 

"No Psyche, stay there!" He told to his son remembering the broken  shards on the floor. "It's dangerous." Psyche stay where he was standing and nodded at his papa but the worry on his face still evident. Shizuo motion to Celty to hand him the broom which she immediately did. He sweep the floor, cleaning the broken glass and throws it on the trash bag. After cleaning the broken glasses Psyche run to his Papa and hug his legs. 

 

"Papa, are you alright? Did you get hurt?" Psyche worriedly asked. Shizuo carry Psyche on his arm and smile tiredly at him. 

 

"Yeah, I'm fine" Psyche breath out a sigh of relief.  Shinra watches the interaction between father and son and can't help to smile inwardly. He was glad that Shizuo giving Psyche the attention he deserves. He coughs to get Shizuo's attention. 

 

"Are you sure you're okay? You're kind of pale " Shinra asked him. Shizuo nodded absentmindly at him. Shinra sigh. 

 

"Shinra." Shizuo called. "Does he know?" He asked worriedly, biting his lower lip to his relief Shinra smile, shaking his head. 

 

"Don't worry I didn't tell him anything." He said in assurance. "Come on Psyche let me check you." He said to Psyche. Shizuo put down Psyche so that he can go to his godfather after the two left the kitchen Celty patted his shoulder.

 

[Are you really okay?] Celty showed a messaged on her PDA. Shizuo sighed running his hand on his face. 

 

"I don't know Celty." He said slumping on the counter. "What should I do if he learns that he have a child? What if he want to take Psyche from me? Oh god what if Psyche prefers Izaya than me? I don't know what will happen to me if he take Psyche away from me." Shizuo ranted. Celty hug Shizuo, a sniff from the man can be heard.

 

"Celty I don't know what to do." Celty hug him tighter, she type something on his PDA before showing it to Shizuo.

 

[Don't worry Shizuo you have me and Shinra. I will make sure that Izaya won't know about Psyche] She erased the message and type another message.

 

[And I'm sure Psyche will choose you no matter what. That kid loves you very much and I know that you love him too so don't worry.] Shizuo reads the message on the PDA before smiling at his friend, wiping the tears in the corner of his eyes.

 

"Thank you Celty."

 

[Don't mention it. You're an important friend to me. I will do anything I can do to help you.] Shizuo laughed at his friend. Thankful that he have Celty to ease his mind. Few hours later Shinra and Psyche enter to the kitchen to see his beloved Celty talking to Shizuo.

 

"Shizuo, I'm done checking Psyche-chan." He said cheerily. Psyche immediately runs to his papa and  to his lap. Shizuo thanked Shinra. "Celty and I need to go now. Are you sure you're okay now?" Shinra asked. Shizuo scoffed at him.

 

"Yeah yeah" he shrugged. Shinra beamed.

 

"That's good then! We need to go now. Just call me if you need something. Don't worry about him." Shinra said.

 

"Bye bye Auntie Celty, Uncle Shinra" Psyche wave his goodbye when the two gone Shizuo let out a deep sigh for the umpteenth time.

 

"Papa, are you okay?" Psyche asked. Shizuo nodded with a small smile. Psyche nuzzle his head on the crook of Shizuo's head. 

 

"Yeah." He said as he walks to the living room settling themselves on the sofa, Psyche makes himself comfortable on his father's lap, enjoying the way how his father thread on his silky black hair. After a moment of silence Psyche asks a question to Shizuo which makes his father's finger stop threading on his hair.

 

"Papa who's Izaya?" He asked innocently, his face glowing in curiosity. Shizuo looks at Psyche with unreadable expression before answering.

 

"No one, just an old acquaintance." He said in monotone voice. Psyche nodded his head and didn't asked any question he can feel that his papa doesn't want to talk about it. 

 

XxxX

 

Psyche was sitting on their classroom a deep frown on his face. He was thinking what happen earlier. He was sure his Papa was having a nightmare earlier. He was sure of it. He looks in pain and his papa were repeatedly saying a word which sounds Izaya. His frown deepened. He is sure that whoever that Izaya is, hurt his Papa. Like what happen when Uncle Shinra visited them. Uncle Shinra mention that name and his Papa looks like crying. He hates to see his Papa in pain, even though his Papa doesn't loves him at first he still love him. And he hate whoever hurts his Papa and Psyche hates whoever this Izaya and he will protect his Papa when that Izaya shows. A flick on his forehead cut his thought.

 

"Ouch, Tsu-chan." He pouts at the newcomer.

 

"Don't pout at me Psyche. You made me worried." Tsugaru said calmly. Psyche only grins at him.

 

"Sorry, I'm just excited to go home." He said sheepishly. Tsugaru huffed at him.

 

"But still you shouldn't do that, running on the rain that's very dangerous." Tsugaru said with a frown, worried etched on his face. Psyche looks at Tsugaru feeling sorry.

 

"Tsu-chan!! Sorry for making you worried!! Psyche will promise that he will not going to that again." Psyche lunge at Tsugaru, apologizing profusely. Tsugaru patted Psyche's hair smiling slightly.

 

"It's fine as long as you promise you won't do that again." Tsugaru said to Psyche who nodded his head. "Good." The door open revealing their teacher the both of them seated at their place.

 

It was now their lunch break, Psyche pull his desk in front of Tsugaru's humming happily. He take his packed lunched with a happy hum. Tsugaru watches him curiously, Psyche open his food container revealing all his favorite food.

 

"Wow, that's a lot." Tsugaru exclaimed camly, his blue eyes looking at Psyche's happy face.

 

"Yep, and Papa made this for Psyche!" Psyche said as he pick an octopus sausage with his chopstick, popping it inside his mouth. Tsugaru smiled at his reaction.

 

"That's good. So how's your papa?" Psyche beamed at the question.

 

"You know Tsu-chan, Papa walked Psyche to school earlier~" Psyche said in a happy voice, Tsugaru smiled at Psyche glad that finally his father shows him some love. He was happy for Psyche. There's no day that Psyche would talk about his father. He has a strong father complex, Tsugaru sometimes wonder that the only reason he was friend with the hyper kid is because he looks like Psyche's father. He remembers how they met.

 

It was the first day of class back then, Tsugaru was having a hard time to get along with his classmate because of his appearance. Having a natural blond hair and blue eyes, the other kids doesn't want to talk to him maybe because he got his look from his mama, a foreigner. And add to his look was his somewhat expressionless face that is hard to read. He was sitting alone at his seat watching the other kids talk to each other until a bright pink eyes, filled with curiosity  blocked his vision. Tsugaru let out a sound of surprise, seeing the kid eyed him in curiosity.

 

"W-what?" He asked in defense, his voice sounds monotone. The pink eyed boy with a black silky hair smiled brightly at him.

 

"You looks like my papa. I like you." The kid stated. Tsugaru looks at him with mouth agape slightly. 'What the heck?' He thought. Seriously this kid have a serious father's complex.

 

"What?" He asked again.

 

"Psyche said I like you. What's your name? I'm Psyche." Tsugaru frowns, aside from having a father's complex this kid have a childish way of speaking..... but that makes him cute. 'What? Did his mind just thought this kid was cute.' He looks at Psyche again. His pink eyes were wide and shining brightly and he was grinning at him. His cheeks dusted with pink. Cute indeed.

 

"I'm Tsugaru." He said to the kid. Psyche smiles taking his both hands with his.

 

"Hi Tsu-chan. From now on you are my best friend." Psyche stated happily, shaking their hands. And with that they become best friend. 

 

That day was unforgettable for him. He was somewhat glad that he kinda looks like his father even though he doesn't see him in person, because of that he was friend with Psyche. The pink eyed kid doesn't talk that much with their classmates, he was aloof with them well except with Tsugaru who he always clings to. And that makes Tsugaru feels special.

 

"....an, Ne, Tsu-chan! Are you listening?" Psyche asked with a pout. Tsugaru looks at Psyche he was absorbed with his thought to the point of spacing out. 

 

"Sorry. What are you saying?" He asked. Psyche pout intensified. Tsugaru thought that it was cute.

 

"I said Papa will fetch me later. I wanna introduce you to him. " Psyche said still pouting. Tsugaru tilted his head.

 

"Why?" He asked. Psyche gasp.

 

"Why is that? Because you are my best friend! I want you to meet my papa." Psyche exclaimed. Tsugaru smiled slightly at him.

 

"Okay. I like that." Tsugaru said with a soft smile. At his answer Psyche's face broke out in a smile. Tsugaru smiles back at him, he really like seeing him smile like that it makes his chest feels warm and fuzzy and he will do anything just for that smile won't disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What was that ending just now???? That was not planned seriously!! Anyways hope you like Psyche and Tsugaru's back story. I will try making Psyche's POV about Tsugaru later when it fits the chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Please don't hesitate to leave me a kudos and reviews. I love them both and makes me motivated!! See you next chapter //heart emoticons.
> 
> PS: I wrote another story. An original one if anyone is interested to read it you can find it on my wattpad account under the same user name, the title is Starstruck.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi I'm back with a new chapter!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO THOSE WHO LEAVE A COMMENT, KUDOS AND EVEN TO THOSE BOOKMARKED MY FIC!! //gross sobbing
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!  
> Same warning as usual. Without further ado on with the story
> 
> Disclaimer: Durarara is not mine

**Chapter 6**

 

To say that Shizuo was shocked is an understatement. He is shock beyond shock. Why can't he be shocked? He just saw an exact look alike of him. Not just saw, he's currently having a staring showdown at him. His emotionless blue eyes were staring deeply at his own caramel brown eyes. Shizuo blinks and look at his son who is grinning widely at them.

 

"Erm.. Psyche who is this?" He asked his son. Psyche's eyes twinkles .

 

"Papa this is my bestfriend, Tsu-chan!" He exclaimed happily. "Tsu-chan this is my Papa!" Psyche introduced the two as he latched at his father's leg. "I told you, Tsu-chan. Papa and you are so much look alike~" Psyche said at Tsu-chan. Shizuo still confused at what is happening. Tsugaru bows politely.

 

"Good afternoon, I'm Tsugaru. Psyche's bestfriend." Tsugaru said politely, his voice sound monotonous. Shizuo did the same still bewildered. He wonder how his son who is so hyper get befriended with this calm kid, they're the complete opposite but let it go.  Psyche unlatched his hold at his father's leg grabbing Tsugaru's hand, entwining their fingers. Shizuo noticed that Tsugaru smiled slightly at the gesture which makes his eyebrow raised. 

 

"Papa can Tsu-chan join us in our lunch today?" Psyche asked politely still holding hands with Tsugaru. Shizuo looks at the two.

 

"Sure. Only if it's okay with Tsugaru-kun." He answered then turn to Tsugaru. "Will there be someone who will fetch you today?" He asked the calm kid.

 

"None. Mom is at work so I'm going home by myself." Tsugaru said in a calm voice. Psyche beam at that.

 

"Then Tsu-chan can join us!" Psyche exclaimed jumping up and down. "Please, Tsu-chan." He begged Tsugaru. Tsugaru looks warily at Psyche then to his father who is watching them, amused.

 

"Okay, if I'm not imposing." He said later on." Psyche cheered at that.

 

"Of course not!" Psyche exclaimed. He clutched his papa's hand, his other hand still holding Tsugaru's hand. "Right Papa?" He turned to his papa.

 

"Of course not." Shizuo said, smiling at the two.

 

Now the three was sitting inside Russia Sushi. Simon approaches them.

 

"Oh Shizuo! Psyche and Tsugaru!" The Russian greeted them.

 

"Hi Uncle Simon!" Psyche greeted back enthusiastically, while the two blond only nodded at him. 

 

"Sushi? Sushi is good. Good for bonding, yes?" Simon told them with a smile. 

 

"Yes please." Shizuo said. Simon smile at them then turn to get their order after a minute Simon came back with their order. Simon set it down with a smile. 

 

"Here's the sushi! Enjoy" Simon said to them then look at Shizuo and Psyche. "I'm happy for you two, especially for you Psyche." Simon said with a genuine smile patting Psyche's hair then turn away to serve another order. 

 

The three then started to eat their food. Unbeknownst from them a pair of rustic red eyes watching them from the outside. 

 

 

XXX

 

 

Izaya was skipping throughout Ikebukuro, checking if something changed after the long years he was gone. He came back a few days ago. If he was being honest he kind of miss Ikebukuro and was happy to be back. Izaya stopped at the park. Nostalgic feeling hit him. This place was his and Shizu-chan's favorite place. This is where they spend their time together. Izaya take a seat at one of the bench and looks around, the park doesn't change at all, children are playing, running around, there's also a few couple in there. He sighs, remembering his past with Shizu-chan. He misses the blond. So bad. He regretted all the things he had said at Shizuo. He still love Shizuo. All the things he said to him back then was a lie. A big lie just to cover why he was leaving. He can't afford to say why he need to leave, he doesn't want to hurt Shizu-chan. But he still hurt his Shizu-chan with his lie.  He's such an idiot. He knows that that's why he promise to himself that if the thing was successful he will come back and win Shizu-chan's heart back again. The thing is successful and now he's back to fulfill the promise he made to himself. With one last look at the park he stand up and turn to walk away.

 

He's hungry and craving for his favorite. Ootoro. There's no sushi restaurant in the State can beat the Oororo that the Russia Sushi make. When he will enter the store his peripheral vision saw something, more like someone familiar behind the glass. When he look at it, his eyes widen in shocked. There sitting a kid that looks like Shizuo but with blue eyes and natural looking blond hair. He walk closely, checking if his eyes were tricking him but then his heart beats painfully inside his chest. There, sitting in front of the kid was his Shizu-chan, smiling at the kid. His hand unconsciously clutched the front of his chest. Why? How? What? Who? A mixed feeling of hurt, betrayal, anger and confusion. He doesn't know what to do and no thoughts came to his mind but only one thing. This emotions are not good for his heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can shout at me on my twitter @kurou_shi
> 
> Please read my original story as well if only if you want Hahaha hahaha //slapped


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi!!! Surprisingly I'm always updating this. Hahahaha I am surprised at myself as well.
> 
> I want to tell you, my dear readers that you are all amazing. I'm crying tears of joy. I can't believe to have such a good feedback from this. I really appreciated it. To all who review, bookmarked my fic and leave a kudos, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!  I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 
> 
> Same warning as usual, please forgive my bad grammars and spellings. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!!
> 
> WITHOUT FURTHER ADO ON WITH THE STORY

Chapter 7

 

After witnessing the scene behind the glass window of Russia Sushi, Izaya immidiately went to Shinra's house. Now he's currently sitting at the sofa on Shinra's living room, eyes trained at the fidgeting form of Shinra, demanding him to tell the truth.

 

"Shinra." He said in a cold voice. Shinra stand up straight.

 

"Y-yes?" He squeak.

 

"Care to explain what I have seen earlier?" He asked Shinra, eyes still focus on Shinra.

 

"E..Explain what, Izaya-kun?" Shinra asked, fidgeting slightly. Izaya glared at him eues turning to slits.

 

"Don't play innocent Shinra. I know you know who's that kid with Shizu-chan." He said to Shinra. "Now tell me. What did I said to you before I left the country?" Izaya asked. Shinra smile, his usual business smile.

 

"That is, to take care of Shizuo-kun until you return." Shinra said. Izaya smile sarcastically.

 

'"Exactly. But you let him impregnate some lowly bitch." Izaya said angrily. Shinra jumped at the tone Izaya used. "YOU LET SOME BITCH TOUCH SHIZU-CHAN. MY SHIZU-CHAN. Now Shinra tell me, how exactly did you take care of him?" Izaya shouted angrily. Shinra flinched. 

 

"Izaya-kun calm down, that's not good for you. You haven't recover fully." Shinra said in concern tone, Izaya huffed only. 

 

"I don't care. Just explain to me why did you let Shizu-chan to have a kid with some unknown woman when I'm gone. I told you right, when my operation is succesful I will come back and make Shizu-chan mine again." He said in defeated voice. Shinra sighed.

 

"Izaya-kun, I know I'd already told you this but I'm going to say it again. You're being selfish. You should have told Shizuo-kun why you left him back then I know that he'll understand it." Shinra said in a low calm tone.

 

"You know I can't. We both know that my operation has a low chance of being succesful to keep me alive." Izaya said in a low voice.

 

"But you're here. Alive." Shinra pressed. "If you just have told Shizuo-kun the truth then nothing like this will happen." 

 

"I know that Shinra. So answer my question now. Who is the one who touches Shizu-chan" Izaya said in a low voice.

 

"I cant tell you who it is. Shizuo-kun doesnt want anybody to know who she is."

 

"But you know right?" Izaya said dangerously.

 

"Yes but I promised Shizuo-kun not to tell anyone" Shinra said. Izaya sighed.

 

"I understand Shinra. If you don't want to tell me then I'm going to find out who she is."Izaya said before going out, on the way he met Celty on the hallway. He only wave at her while Celty nodded at him. Celty looks at Izaya's retreating back before entering their apartment. She saw Shinra massaging his temple.

 

[I saw Izaya on the way here. Why is he here?] She typed before showing it to Shinra. Shinra looks at her, grinning widely.

 

"Oh! My Beloved you're back." Shinra said as he hug her. Celty tapped Shinra's back to show her PDA at him again. Shinra read the message. " Ah yes, he was asking who is Psyche's mother is." Celty panicked at that.

 

[What? How?] Celty typed.

 

"Earlier he saw them at Russia Sushi and went here to demand answers." Shinra explained "But the way he describes Psyche is different. He said that the kid he saw was an exact look alike of Shizuo and have blue eyes." Celty typed again on her PDA.

 

[So he thought that Tsugaru-kun is Shizuo's son?] Celty asked. Shinra nodded.

 

"Yes my beloved. He probably didn't saw Psyche. Because if he saw him he will suspects something." Shinra said with a thoughtful look.

 

[We need to inform Shizuo about this.] Celty typed then started to send a message to Shizuo but Shinra stopped her. 

 

"Let's not. Let me handle it okay, My Beloved." Shinra pleaded. Celty stares at him for a minute before nodding.

 

[If something happen with Shizuo and Psyche, I'm not talking to you for a month.] Celty threatened. Shinra nodded reluctantly.

 

XXX

 

Psyche is happy. Very happy. His two most favorite persons were with him eating ice cream in the ice cream parlor. After they finished eating their lunch at Russia Sushi, his Papa treated them to the Ice Cream Parlor.

 

"Ne, ne, Tsu-chan taste this." Psyche offers his strawberry vanilla icecream to Tsugaru. Tsugaru then takes the offered spoon with the ice cream.

 

"It's sweet right." Psyche said grinning happily. Tsugaru nodded, smiling at him. He really likes seeing Tsugaru's smile it makes him feel special after all Tsu-chan only smiles at him.

 

The first time he saw Tsugaru, it was their first day of class. He was feeling upset because his Papa didn't bid him goodbye. He understand it though because he knows that his Papa is tired and need rest. He enter his classroom and saw everyone become friends already. He sighed then scan his surrounding to look for an empty chair until his eyes landed on someone. His pink eyes widened from shock. There he saw someone that looks like his Papa. He excitedly skips toward the stranger, his backpack bouncing against his back. When he got near he noticed that the stranger were watching their classmate with emotionless expression. Psyche kneels down in front of him, staring curiously at the kid's face. 'He really looks like my Papa in every angle.' Psyche thought with a giggle. Finally the kid looks toward him. Pink meets Blue. The kid let out a squeak of surprise which makes Psyche giggles at that.

 

"W-what?" The kid asked in defence, his face void of emotions. Psyche grins widely.

 

"You looks like my papa. I like you." Psyche stated happily. The kid looks at him with mouth agape slightly.

 

"What?" He asked again.

 

"Psyche said I like you. What's your name? I'm Psyche." The kid frowns at him. 'Even his frowning face looks like his Papa.' Psyche though still grinning widely. He really starting to like this kid. 

 

"I'm Tsugaru." He introduce himself. Psyche smiles taking his both hands with his. Face starting to hurt from so much smiling. 

 

"Hi Tsu-chan. From now on you are my best friend." Psyche stated happily, shaking their hands. 

 

That day Tsugaru become his bestfriend. He's always there whenever he needed him. Whenever he wants to let out his hurt feeling Tsu-chan is always there, ready to listen to him and give him hugs which he happily returns. He's lucky that he met Tsu-chan and every single day is special for him that's why when Tsu-chan needed his help he will always be there no matter what happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there Psyche's POV about his meet up with Tsu-chan and also a hint of why Izaya left Shizuo!!!! Hahahha how is it?? Constructive Criticism is very much accepted. 
> 
> By the way... I'll be updating very slow again because of my internship. But don't worry I'll try writing the next chapter when I got the time so please wait for me okay!! See ya next chapter. //heart emoticons


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! I'm back with a new chapter!!!!!!! Because I love you all I wrote this last night instead of sleeping but ugh my internet won't let me upload it. 
> 
> Anyways thank you for the kudos, bookmarks, and comments!! It really does makes me happy!!! 
> 
> Same Warning, if you find any grammar mistakes and incorrect spellings please be reminded that English is not my first language. 
> 
> I do not own Durarara!!

Chapter 8

 

Izaya was pissed. Very pissed. He was on his computer ever since he got home and he didn't even find some worthy information. No marriage certificate that has been registered, Shizuo's civil status still single. (what the heck) and a birth certificate of that Psyche. (Just thinking about that name makes him sneered in disgust.) The only parent that registered in his birth certificate is Shizuo as a father and no mother. 'So it's a one night stand huh. Meaning that bitch just dump all the responsibility to Shizu-chan.' Izaya thought disgustingly. Cursing whoever that woman is. And then there's Shinra.  That damn quack doctor remained tight lipped and didn't gave him any information he needed but instead a lecture. Izaya rubbed his forehead and look at the time it's already midnight and it's not good for his recovering body to stay this late so he shut down his computer and prepares for bed. If he can't get any information at Shinra then he had no choice but to confront that Shizu-chan's bastard (he doesn't care anymore if he's only a kid). How he will do that, he still doesn't know. 

 

XxxX

 

The sun was already setting when Izaya decided to get out of his apartment, he's quest on looking up any information about that bastard child of Shizu-chan's remains unfruitful. Now he can be seen skipping at a familiar ground of his old high school noticing not too far an unfamiliar looking building. Izaya then realized that it is a elementary school because of the children walking out the building. 'Oh, there's a lot that have change ever since I'm gone' he thought then made a beeline to the front gate to inspect it until he noticed a familiar mope of blond. His blood boils at the sight. There walking alone is the bastard child of Shizu-chan, his lips contoured into a sadistic smirk. "What a lucky day" he said to himself as he walk toward the blond kid.

 

"Hey." He said a little bit cheerful to the blond kid. The kid look at him with wide eyes but his expression remains monotonous. Izaya gritted his teeth. He really do looks like his Shizu-chan. 

 

"Yes?" The kid asked politely. Izaya smiles at the kid.

 

"Can you show me where's the town mall? I'm kind of new here and don't know where to go." He lied. The kid looks skeptical bit still remains emotionless. 

 

"My mother told me not to talk with strangers." Smart. Izaya acts as if disappointed. 

 

"Really? But I'm not a bad person. I promise." He said pouting he noticed that the kid mention his mother but he didn't pay attention to that  but to the kid who is looking at him and bow his head.

 

"I'm sorry." He said before turning around to walk away. Izaya's patient snapped and he reached to grip at the kids arm. 

 

"Wait. Just a moment." He said while gripping a little bit harder at the kid's arm. The blond kid then started to try pulling out of Izaya's grasp so Izaya tightened his grip to the kid which make him flinch in pain. That action didn't go unnoticed to Izaya and that makes him smile sadistically inside. As the kid try harder on pulling out his grasp Izaya decided to let go making it as if it was an accidental slip which makes the kid to fall out, grazing his elbow. 

 

"TSUUUU-CHAAAANN!!" A high pitch shout could be heard from a far when Izaya looks from the blond kid to the owner of the voice he went rigid.

 

'What the hell?' Was his first thought. A black haired kid with pink eyes that looking at him with anger but what shocked him the most is that the black haired kid looks exactly like him. Then he looks at the blond kid on the ground. 'Tsu-chan?' He thought frowning.

 

"HOW DARE YOU HURT TSU-CHAN?!" The black haired kid ask angrily as he saw him lift a trash bin that triple his weight. His eyes widen at the sight and he's not the only one who is surprised at the the kid's strength even the blond kid is looking at him with surprised look on his eyes. A loud snapped could be heard before the trash bin slip out of his grasp landing on the ground with a loud thump. The dark haired kid cradled his right arm, probably because it was the one that get all the pressure from lifting a heavy object, crying from the pain and Izaya is sure that the kid just broke his arm. 

 

"Psyche!" The blond kid shouted in worry and Izaya then look at the blond and to the black haired kid, a confuse expression on his face. Didn't the blond kid is Psyche so why is he calling that black haired kid that name. "Are you alright Psyche?" He said as he sit down in front of the crying kid, checking his arm.

 

"Tsu-chan it hurts!" The black haired kid or should he call him Psyche from now on said still crying. Tsu-chan now frowns in worry, not knowing what to do he decided to hug Psyche careful at his injured arm. 

 

Something stirs from Izaya as he saw the black haired kid cried in pain. He doesn't understand why of pained him to watch the black haired kid cry in pain. There's a side of him that want to hug him and kissed the pain away while coaxing him to calm down. But he didn't know why, his feet slowly walking toward the black haired kid

 

"What happened here?" A familiar voiced asked from behind him, making him stopped on his tracks. Izaya's heart beat painfully inside his chest. 'Shizu-chan' he thought and when he turn around he saw the blond hair and deep chocolate brown eyes that he dearly miss. 

 

Brown meet Red. Both shocked can be seen at the two as the stared at each other until the brown shocked eyes turn into anger as he saw the crying kid.

 

"What did you do?" Shizuo asked coldly but Izaya can't find a any word to answer. He just stared at Shizuo. 

 

"Papa!! It hurts!!!" Psyche's wailed and Shizuo's attention went all to Psyche as he passed at Izaya, not giving him a glance. 

 

'Papa? The kid that looks exactly like him just called Shizu-chan his papa?' Izaya though confused. The clog on his mind started working.

 

"What happen, dear?" Shizuo cooed gently as the blond kid stepped back and let Shizuo to tend on his child. 

 

"I think Psyche broke his arm when he lifted that big trash bin." The blond kid explained.

 

"Why he did that, Tsugaru-kun?" He asked gently. 

 

"Because that bad guy hurt Tsu-chan." Psyche pointed at him using his good arm. Then Shizu-chan's attention turn to him, his eyes held so much rage.

 

"You!" He started angrily. "Are you not going to do anything right!! Everything you did just hurt people and now you hurt my son."

 

"W-wait Shizu-chan. Let me explain." Izaya said as he walk neared to the three.

 

"Stop don't come any nearer from here and stop calling me Shizu-chan that's not my name." Shizuo said angrily. Izaya stopped from his tracks a hurtful expression on his face. Shizuo then lifted his son from the ground careful at the broken arm and walked passed to Izaya the blond kid following behind him. Izaya decided to follow them, not paying any mind every time Shizuo sneered at him and told him not to follow them because there's this deep feeling. A suspicion why he's so concerned about the kid. A suspicion he so wished to to be correct. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slower as usual as I still have internship. Bye bye. Thank you for reading this. ///


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really speechless rn. What have I done to receive so much love on my story??? For that I wrote the next chapter earlier than expected. I love you all my dear reader!!
> 
>  
> 
> Same warning as usual. Bad grammar and spelling.
> 
> I do not own anything just the plot and without further ado on with the story and enjoy the drama.

Chapter 9 

 

"Papa.. I..It hurts." Izaya heard Psyche said at Shizuo as he nuzzled his head at the crook of Shizuo's neck, sniffling slightly. Izaya can't help but to feel guilty after all it is his fault why Psyche broke his arm. 

 

"Sshh. It's fine baby. We will go to Uncle Shinra to treat it okay." Shizuo said as he cradle Psyche carefully on his arm, looking at Tsugaru with the same concern he was giving Psyche. "Don't let go of my hand, Tsugaru." Shizuo said to Tsugaru who nodded at him. Izaya still following the three having a second thought if he should talk to Shizu-chan to apologize on what he did to Psyche and also deep inside him he wants to apologize on what happen ten years ago. 

 

"Shizu-chan." He said weakly, deciding to talk to the older blond in the end. He noticed that Psyche is watching him as their eyes met, something clicked inside of Izaya. It feels like there's something.. someone completed him and he like it very much. Just thinking about it tears him up. Izaya smile weakly at Psyche but the pink eyed kid gave him a cold glare before hiding his face at Shizu-chan's neck. All the blissful feeling he's experiencing all go down the drain. Sighing, he tried to catch Shizuo again by reaching up to him. "Hey, Shizu-chan." 

 

"Don't." Shizuo started as he turned to him. "Don't talk to me, Izaya-kun." He said as he give Izaya his calmest look. Izaya retracted his arm, feeling hurt. 'kun' he added a suffix in his name. Usuallly Shizu-chan only call him that when he's upset or angry at him. 

 

They walk in silence with the occasional sniffle from Psyche. When they arrive at Shinra's apartment, Shizuo ring the doorbell multiple times while shouting Shinra's name. 

 

"Coming" A cheerful voice said from inside When the door swung open it reveals Shinra whose face turn from a cheerful expression to shock when he saw who's his visitor and then to worry when Psyche whines his name. 

 

"What happened? He asked worriedly. Shizuo walk inside, Tsugaru following beside him and Izaya behind. Shinra's eyes widen when he saw Izaya with them. Izaya turn to Shinra with pointed look. 

 

"Shinra. You knew all along." he said pointedly as he glare at the doctor. Shinra winced at the tone Izaya used, before he could answer Shizuo called out to him again.

 

"Hey Shinra! What are you still doing there you need to treat Psyche." Shizuo called as he placed Psyche at the couch carefully. Tsugaru sitting down besides Psyche, looking worried like Shizuo. 

 

"Coming" Shinra shouted back. Izaya walk with Shinra inside.

 

"I need an answer." Izaya said loudly for Shizuo to hear. Shizuo turned his glare to Izaya. 

 

"Huh! What are you talking about?" Shizuo asked back. Izaya look straight to Shizuo's eyes. 

 

"Who is Psyche?" He asked. Shizuo scoffed at him. 

 

"My son." Shizuo said. 

 

"Who is the father?" Izaya asked again and Shizuo frown. 

 

"Are you blind, idiot?" He asked. "Of course me." 

 

"And the mother?" At that Izaya noticed that Shizuo fidgeted he raised an eyebrow. 

 

"It's none of your business." Shizuo sneered, glaring at Izaya. The two started to have a staring contest, in Shizuo's case he was glaring at Izaya. 

 

"Okay stop that you two. Can't you see there are children here." Shinra suddenly said, sensing the tense atmosphere between the two. "Shizuo. Psyche got a fracture on his right arm and I need to put a splinter on it and I need to treat Tsugaru's wound and bruise. Will you two be civil for a moment until I'm gone?" Shinra reminded the two like a kid. Shizuo scoffed again. 

 

"Only if Izaya-kun doesn't utter a single word." Shizuo shrugged making Izaya frown. 

 

"I can't promise you that. Like I said I need answer." Izaya said but Shizuo turn his back to him and walk infront of Psyche to comfort him 

 

"Uncle Shinra will put a splinter on your arm so be a good boy okay. Just remember Papa is just here waiting for you. "Shizuo said gently, petting Psyche's hair. Psyche nodded cutely at his papa. Izaya melted at the sight he wanted to be a part of that but knowing his situation with them he knew that it is still impossible to happen but that doesn't mean he will do nothing. Shinra then lead the two on his clinic room leaving the two in silence. 

 

Izaya can't take the silence anymore so he decided to drop the bomb.

 

"Psyche is my son, right?" Izaya asked. Shizuo frozed at the question his eyes wide and mouth agape then his face contoured into angered.

 

"What the hell are you saying? Did you finally snap? Of course he's not your son. He. Is. My. Son." Shizuo said as he pressed every word. 

"Shizu-chan. I'm being serious here." Izaya said.

 

"Well I'm being serious as well." Shizuo said back. The two get into staring contest again until Izaya sigh tiredly.

 

"Shizuo please I need to know the truth." Izaya said weakly. Shizuo glares intensifies.

 

"You want the truth? Then I'll tell you the truth. So listen here you fuckung bastard. Psyche is your son. There happy?" Shizuo said angrily, their face almost touching. Izaya was shocked at what he heard. So Psyche really is his son. He doesn't know how to feel now that he knows the truth it's a mixed feeling of happiness, because his suspicion is correct and there's no need to get jealous on some unnamed bitch that in the first place doesn't exist. Regret because for 10 years he left Shizu-chan alone to care for their child, in confusion on how it happens and in guiltyness because what if he inherits his weak heart. Oh god. Izaya panic at the thought. He doesn't want Psyche to experience what he went through. 

 

"Shizu-chan does Psyche show some symptoms of having a weak heart?" Izaya asked. Shizuo was taken aback with Izaya's question. 

 

"Why do you care." He asked back. Izaya clucked his tounge.

 

"I care because he's my son as well. Now answer me." Izaya said feeling impatient. He need to confirm it. Shizuo looks at him eyebrow furrowed in anger.

 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING. YOU DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO CALL PSYCHE YOUR SON." Shizuo growled and in that exact moment Shinra, Psyche and Tsugaru emerged from the other room. 

 

"Papa?" Psyche said in confusion. "What are you saying?" Shizuo flinched and turn to look at Psyche whose now arm is on sling. 

 

"P...Psyche?" Shizuo started. Eyes wide with fears and shock. "It's nothing don't mind us." But Izaya walk toward Psyche and kneel in front of him to match his height.

 

"Psyche-chan, My name is Orihara Izaya and I'm your father." Izaya said gently making Psyche frowns.

 

"No you're not. My Papa is Heiwajima Shizuo amd I'm a Heiwajima." Psyche said running to Shizuo to hide behind him, Tsugaru in tow. Izaya looks at the two with a hurt expression.

 

"Shizu-chan tell him the truth." Izaya pleaded. Shinra looks at Izaya.

 

"You already know?" Shinra asked. Izaya turn his glare at Shinra. 

 

"Yes I know already. Shizu-chan already told me earlier." Izaya said surprising Shinra.

 

"Papa what is that mean guy talking about?" Shizuo looked at Psyche smiling wearily. 

 

"It's nothing." Shizuo said.

 

"Please Shizu-chan, tell him." Izaya pleaded getting desperate. 

 

"Shizuo-kun. Psyche has the right to know since it concern him also."Shinra said to Shizuo with all the seriousness he have. Shizuo stares at him in second thought before letting out a deep sigh, crouching infront of Psyche he caress his cheek gently.

 

"Psyche listen to me okay, just remember that whatever you will heard today I'm still your father and you are my son okay. You have the right to choose if you still want me as your father. I know I did bad things to you because I'm such an idiot and I regret it. I love you." Shizuo said, eyes glazing with tears. He took a deep breath again before continuing. "Psyche, Izaya is your father." Shizuo finally said. Psyche's eyes widen with shock his mouth forming an 'o'. 

 

"Wha-" Psyche said incoherently. "No!! Papa you are my Papa. I don't want any Papa aside from you!!" He said now crying as he wrap his good arm around Shizuo's neck. Shizuo tried to soothe his son but him too is crying as well. "I don't like him! He hurt Tsu-chan and he hurt you!! I hate him!! Papa please don't give me to him." Psyche pleaded. Izaya gasps at Psyche's outburst. He understand why his own son don't want him but hearing him say that he hates him. It hurts. His heart beating painfully inside making his breathing ragged.

 

"Psyche. Please give me a chance." Izaya said walking to them. 

 

"Nooooooo!!! Don't touch me!" Psyche cried harder. Shizuo growls at Izaya. 

 

"Stop it Izaya-kun. He doesn't want it." Shizuo said as he shielded Psyche.

 

"Psyche already choose and he doesn't want you so don't show yourself in front of us anymore. Come on Tsugaru were leaving." And with that he walk out the door shutting it loudly. Izaya remains standing there staring at where they are standing earlier. He was shaking and gasping, clutching his chest. Shinra noticed him and asked him what's wrong.

 

"Izaya-kun, are you alright." Shinra frowns worriedly.

 

"Shi...nra.. I..I c..can't bre..athe.." He said between gasps. Shinra runs toward him, alarmingly guiding him at the couch. 

 

"Take a deep breath Izaya." Shinra commanded worriedly. "Shit." 

 

'I..It h..hurts.." It hurts more than it hurts when he decided to leave Shizu-chan. The rejection, the hatred and anger are all crushing him down. His newly transplanted heart constricted painfully inside him as it can't handle so much emotion. Psyche's last word echoing inside him repeatedly as his consciousness fades away.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. 
> 
> Thanks for leaving a kudos, reviews, bookmarks and those who read my story. Thank you.
> 
> Same warning as usual.
> 
> I don't own anything just the plot.

Chapter 10

 

"I c..cant breathe." Shinra heard Izaya mutters as he fainted. He curses to himself. He already expected that this will going to happen to him after all he knew that Izaya should not feel that much emotion because he was still recovering. 

 

"Celty you are here! Please help me carry Izaya to my clinic." Shinra said as soon as he heard the door open. Celty then commanded her shadow to lift Izaya from the ground and carry him to the clinic. When Celty put down Izaya on the bed Shinra immediately set his equipment up, putting an oxygen mask on his face and then checks his vital signs. Good thing that he only fainted from so much emotional rush and exhaustion if it's anything dire he doesn't know what will happen anymore. 

 

[What happened?] Celty asked as she show him her PDA. Shinra narrated what happened earlier. He also told Celty Izaya's condition which shocks Celty. 

 

"Izaya kept it a secret to Shizuo-kun because he doesn't want Shizuo-kun to see him suffering." Celty shakes her head.

 

[He's an idiot.] Celty typed and Shinra nodded with a smile. 

 

"I've already told him that but he still chooses to keep it a secret." Shinra said and look at Izaya who's resting on his clinic bed. "He's a selfish idiot in-love. He thought that by not telling Shizuo-kun, it will protect him from the pain. But he was wrong. It just causes more pain to the both of them. Now our poor Psyche-chan are being caught between the two." Shinra said while shaking his head. 

 

[I'll check Psyche if he's alright.] Celty typed. Shinra nodded with a smile.

 

"Celty my beloved, please don't tell Shizuo what I've told you about Izaya okay. Let him fix it." Shinra said at Celty who only nodded.

 

[I know.] She typed before walking through the door. Shinra sighed, removing his eyeglasses to rub his face tiredly and took a seat at one of the chair inside his clinic, waiting for Izaya to wake up.

 

XxxX

 

Izaya jolted awake, he scanned the surrounding confusedly until what happened earlier flooded his mind. He seat up suddenly looking around, removing the oxygen mask from his face. In that moment Shinra enter the room. 

 

"You're finally awake Izaya-kun. How's your feeling?" Shinra asked a little bit enthusiastic.

 

"Where's Shizu-chan and Psyche-chan?" Izaya asked instead, alreasy getting off the bed but Shinra stop him by holding his shoulder.

 

"They already went home." Shinra said. Izaya tried to shrug Shinra's hold but the man is holding him tightly.

 

"Give me their address" Izaya commanded but Shinra only smiled.

 

"No. You need to take a rest." Shinra reprimanded.

 

"Giv-" Izaya was cut off by Shinra.

 

"No means no. Take a rest first and don't force them to talk to you. It will only make them avoid you more." Shinra said seriously.

 

"Shinra." Izaya said helplessly. Shinra sigh and looking softly at Izaya.

 

"Izaya-kun, I know you're being frustrated right now but please wait for a little bit before talking to Shizuo-kun again. Think about what your son, Psyche-chan feeling right now. This is being hard for him as well." Shinra explained. Izaya stared at Shinra, his lips pursed into thin lines.

 

"Shinra I don't know what should I do for them to accept me in their life." Izaya said honestly, his voice quivering. 

 

"Just tell them the truth." Shinra said. Izaya nodded silently, wondering if by telling the truth everything will be fixed. Hoping it will fix everything. 

 

"I'll leave you now, go take a rest." Shinra said before heading out. 

 

XxxX

 

Celty rang the doorbell to Shizuo's apartment multiple times before Shizuo opens the door. 

 

"Celty, why you're here?" Shizuo asked in shock. Celty noticed that his hair is messy and his eyes are red and puffy. She typed something on her PDA.

 

[I heard what happened earlier from Shinra. I'm sorry I'm not there to support you and Psyche.] Shizuo read Celty's messaged and wave his hand with a tired smile.

 

"It's fine." He said. "Come in." The two walk to the living room and settling down on the sofa.

 

[How's Tsugaru-kun and Psyche-chan] Celty typed worriedly. 

 

"Tsugaru went home with her mother a while ago I told Sayuri what happened to him and felt ashamed to get him hurt while he's under my care while Psyche." Shizuo sighed deeply before continuing. "Psyche is locking himself inside our room and doesn't want to talk to me. " Shizuo said tiredly. "Celty I don't know anymore. My worst fear just happened earlier. Izaya already knows. What if Psyche leave me now that I told him I'm not his father." Shizuo said, crying again. Celty hugged her best friend, typing on her PDA.

 

[I told you before that Psyche loves you right. Just give him time to let it sink to him. I know he will not leave you.] Shizuo read the messaged but his tears are still running freely.

 

"But I'm still scared." Celty wrapped her arms tighlty around Shizuo to comfort him. She couldn't think of a right words to tell Shizuo so instead she just hugged him until Shizuo calms down. Shizuo wrapped his arms around Celty as well, crying on her shoulder. Shizuo's glad for having a friend like Celty.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya Guys!!! When inspiration hits you so hard!!!! OML I'm so hype. My favorite JPop rock band will be guesting in BOA... I've been waiting for this for so long!!!. LMAO. And then my favorite cosplayer is one of the guest in Cosmania. RIP Money.
> 
> Anyways Sorry for my long absence. I'm just so busy with my internship and been eaten by Yuri!! On Ice fandom. So here's a kinda long-ish chapter to make up my absence. Hope you all like it!!! //heart emoticons
> 
> Warning: Grammar errors and Spelling mistakes. Please be reminded that English is not my first language.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara only the plot of this fanfiction is mine.

Psyche put all the cleaning materials inside the cabinet. He was the only one who left inside their classroom as he was in cleaning duty, his classmate who have the same duty  as him had already left. Then he sling his bag on his shoulder skipping through the corridors. He skipped-walk until he exited the building and went to where Tsu-chan is waiting for him. As he saw Tsu-chan's natural blond hair he started dashing but stop mid-tracks as he noticed someone is pulling him. He frowns worriedly and walk slowly to them until the stranger let go of Tsu-chan's arm . The stranger may fool anyone that it was accidentally but not with Psyche. He saw how purposely he let go Tsu-chan's wrist and stumble on the ground leaving a graze on his elbow. In that exact moment Psyche saw red and dashes where the stranger is standing and smirking at Tsu-chan who is cradling his injured arm.

 

"TSUUUU-CHAAAANN!!" Psyche screamed in high pitched tone. The stranger then look at Psyche, his eyes widen slightly as he noticed the stranger but his full attention was on Tsu-chan. "HOW DARE YOU HURT TSU-CHAN?!" He screamed angrily. His mind was blank and the only thing on his mind is to protect his precious Tsu-chan. So in haste he grabbed the nearest thing to him to throw at the mean stranger which is the trash bin triple his weight. He lifted it in his little arms, screaming with adrenaline rush until there's a snap and Psyche's body burns in pain. The grip on the trash bin loosen and slipped from his arm and landing with a loud thump on the ground. Psyche cradle his injured arm, eyes welling up in tears because of the pain.

 

"Psyche." He heard Tsu-chan call him worriedly. "Are you alright, Psyche?" He asked as he kneel down in front of Psyche, checking his injured arm.

 

"Tsu-chan it hurt." Psyche whines as he clutch his injured arm, crying and sniffling loudly. He saw Tsu-chan frowns not knowing what to do so he hug Psyche instead. Psyche clutches the front of his shirt and buried his head on Tsu-chan's chest. Tsu-chan run his finger through his hair to make him calm down but Psyche still cries from so much pain.

 

"Tsu-chan" He sniff. 

 

"Sshh.. Calm down Psyche, Shizu-ojichan will arrive soon." Tsu-chan said worriedly. Resting his chin on Psyche's head. 

 

"What happened here?" Psyche perks up at the familiar voice of his Papa. "What did you do?" His papa said angrily, probably talking to the stranger. Psyche looks at his papa and saw how angry he is. Psyche feels a little bit scared at how scary his papa looks but his injury is way too painful to think about it.

 

"Papa!! It hurts!!" He said wailing in pain. His papa looks at him worriedly and dash towards him.

 

"What happen, dear?" His papa asked him gently, Tsu-chan give way for his papa. 

 

"I think Psyche broke his arm when he lifted that big trash bin." Tsu-chan explained in monotone but Psyche could hear how worried his best friend for him.

 

"Why did he do that, Tsugaru-kun?" Papa asked Tsu-chan gently but his voice sounds worried at the same time. 

 

"Because that bad guy hurt Tsu-chan" Psyched answered instead, pointing the mean stranger. His Papa turn to the bad guy angrily and he looks scary again. Tsu-chan knelt down beside him, holding his hand. Psyche looks at Tsu-chan and saw him smiling at him soothingly. Psyche smiles back and hold his hand back. Their attention turns to the two when his Papa started screaming at the guy. It was the first time he saw how angry his papa

 

"Stop. Don't come any closer from here and stop calling me Shizu-chan that's not my name." Papa shouted angrily. Psyche saw how the man stopped and a hurtful expression marred his face. Psyche's father lifted him from the ground careful from his injury

 

"We're going to Uncle Shinra okay." Shizuo told him in a gently and he look at Tsu-chan and noticed his bruised arm and wound. "Come with us Tsugaru" His papa told Tsu-chan. 

 

"Papa it hurts." Psyche whines. 

 

"I know baby, don't worry Uncle Shinra will fix it." Shizuo said gently. Psyche nodded and nuzzled his head on the crook of his father's neck, sniffling slightly. His Papa were cradling him in one arm and beside them was Tsugaru. "Don't let go of my hand, Tsugaru." Shizuo said to Tsu-chan. The blond kid look at Shizuo and nodded then turn to look at Psyche who is also looking at him and give him an assuring smile. Psyche's cheeks reddened as he smile slightly at Tsugaru. Psyche then looks at the stranger that following them. No matter how many times his papa gave him a sneer or glared at him he still follows them. He stares and now he noticed what the stranger looks like. He has black hair and his eyes are red but what Psyche noticed the most is that they were look alike, except for the color of their eyes. Like how his Papa and Tsu-chan looks like. Psyche frowns. Who is that guy and why does he know his Papa.

 

"Shizu-chan" The stranger calls again but his papa didn't look back. Then the stranger noticed that he was watching him and looks at him. Their eyes met and Psyche could feel something inside him. A familiar feeling that he can't understand. The stranger smiles weakly at him but Psyche still upset at what he did at Tsu-chan so he gave him a cold glare and buried his head on Shizuo's neck again.

 

"Hey, Shizu-chan." The rave haired the man called again.

 

"Don't." Psyche could feel the shift of his Papa's head as he turn to look at the stranger. "Don't talk to me, Izaya-kun." Psyche's ears perk up at the name. Izaya. The name of the guy who hurt his papa. The guy he calls in his dream as tears wetting his closed eyes. Izaya. That guy is Izaya, whom he promised to protect his papa from. Psyche looks at the guy again, glaring and hating him more that now he know who he is.

 

After a moment they arrived at Uncle Shinra's apartment and his papa ring the doorbell and call his name as well multiple times.

 

"Coming" a cheerful voice said from the inside before the door opens widely. Shinra open it and saw Psyche his cheerful demeanor changed into worried. "What happened?" He asked but Shizuo walks straightly inside.

 

 

"Hey Shinra! What are you still doing there? You need to treat Psyche." His papa said as he place Psyche gently on the sofa. Tsu-chan sitting beside him looking worried. The guy said something to his papa but Psyche didn't hear it because Uncle Shinra talks to him.

 

"What happened?" Uncle Shinra asked. Psyche looks away.

 

"Psyche lifted a heavy trash bin." Psyche said quietly. Uncle Shinra's eyes widen from shocked before nodding at him. "Is my arm needed to be cut?" Psyche asked, his voice sounding scared. Shinra laughs slightly at Psyche.

 

"No silly, Your arm won't be cut. It's just a broken bone that will immediately heal when I put a splinter."Shinra explained with a smile. Psyche breath out a sigh of relief. He though that his arm will be cut because it hurt so much. Uncle Shinra turn his attention to Tsu-chan inspecting his injury also. Psyche could still hear his father and Izaya arguing but he can't understand what they were saying.

 

"I need to clean your wound so it won't get infected and I'll apply some ointment on your bruise, okay." Uncle Shinra said to Tsu-chan then look at the both of them. "Wait here." he said before turning around to face his papa and Izaya to tell them to be quiet and civil with each other. His papa shrugged and walk towards him, crouching in front of him.

 

"Unlce Shinra will put a splinter on your arm so be a good boy okay. Just remember that Papa is just here waiting for you." He said gently, petting his hair. Psyche nodded cutely at him.

 

"Okay papa." He said as he kisses his papa's cheek. Uncle Shinra guided them to his clinic. Shinra hoisted Psyche up on one of the bed before taking out his kit and splinter, Tsugaru watching them. Uncle Shinra placed a splinter on his arm before wrapping a bandage and putting his arm on a sling after that his attention turn to Tsugaru. Psyche looks at Tsugaru.

 

"Tsu-chan." Psyche started, voice quivering. "Sorry." Tsugaru glances at him.

 

"Why?" Tsugaru asked in confusion.

 

"Because Psyche couldn't protect you instead Psyche got hurt and make you worry." Psyche said eyes tearing up. Tsugaru smiles softly and pull him using one arm.

 

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault okay." Tsugaru said softly, running his good hand on Psyche's back. Psyche nodded, sniffling softly.

 

"And done." Shinra exclaimed happily, checking his handiwork on Tsugaru. "Come on you two let's check those two they probably killing each other by now." Uncle Shinra laughed Psyche tilted his head in confusion but Shinra just usher them to the door. When they are closer to the door they could hear screaming.

 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING. YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL PSYCHE YOUR SON!" Psyche heard his papa screamed. Psyche frowns in confusion. Why does his papa mention his name.

 

"Papa?" Psyche called in confusion. "What are you saying?" He saw how his papa flinched and look at him with widen eyes.

 

"P..Psyche?" His papa started. He can see how scared and shocked he is when he looks at him and now Psyche could feel his heart beat in nervousness. "It's nothing don't mind us." His father said, voice shaking. Psyche noticed that Izaya walks toward him and kneel in front. 

 

"Psyche-chan, My name is Orihara Izaya and I'm your father." Izaya said gently. Psyche frowns at him and shook his head not believing him.

 

"No you're not. My Papa is Heiwajima Shizuo and Psyche is a Heiwajima." Psyche said to Izaya and run toward his papa to hide behind him, Tsugaru following him. He could hear Izaya pleaded and their argument with Uncle Shinra. 

 

"Papa what is that mean guy talking about?" Psyche asked at his papa still confuse at what's happening. His father smiles warily at him.

 

"It's nothing. He said.

 

"Please Shizu-chan, tell him" Izaya pleaded desperately.

 

"Shizuo-kun. Psyche has the right to know since it concern him also." Unlce Shinra said in serious voice. Psyche is now getting scared. What is the thing he needed to know and why does his papa doesn't want him to know. Psyche clutches his father's pant leg tightly. His father let out a deep sigh before crouching in front of him.

 

"Psyche listen to me okay, just remember that whatever you will hear today I'm still your father and you are my son. You have the right to choose if you still want me as your father. I know I did bad things to you because I'm an idiot and I regret it. I love you." His father said on the verge of crying. Of course he will chose him no matter what. What does his Papa talking about. He was now getting more scared at what was happening. His father took a deep breath before continuing. "Psyche is your father." His father said finally crying. Psyche froze.

 

"Wha-" Psyche asked shockingly. "No!! Papa, you are my papa. I dont want any papa aside from you!!" He cried, wrapping his good arm on his father's neck. He could feel that his papa is crying as well. "I don't like him! He hurt Tsu-chan and he hurt you." Psyche pleaded. He doesn't want Izaya. He is a bad guy who hurt his two beloved person.

 

"Psyche. Please give me a chance." Izaya pleaded but Psyche whines harder.

 

"Noooooo!! Don't touch me" he shouted. Shizuo shielded him and growling at Izaya to stop touching him.

 

"Psyche already choose and he doesn't want you so don't show yourself in front of us anymore. Come on Tsugaru we're leaving." His father said angrily before walking out. 

 

 

Psyche was quiet on the way home he doesn't responding every time his father calls him. He only remains beside Tsu-chan who is holding his hand tightly. On the way they met Tsu-chan's mother. His papa apologized for getting Tsu-chan hurt in his care. Psyche also apologized to Aunt Sayuri. The blond woman, Sayuri smiled at him and shook his head saying that she didn't mind and thankful for them for treating Tsugaru. Tsu-chan bid him goodbye with a hug and a whisper of 'Take care' Psyche hug him back. Tsu-chan wave his hand as they walk away. 

 

The two continue walking to their house quietly, Psyche still keeping his distance at his papa. When they arrived at their house Psyche walked straightly at their shared bedroom and locked himself inside. He refused to talk at his papa even though he was confused and many questions swirling inside his head. He was afraid. Afraid to know the truth. What if he is really not related to Shizuo? The reason why his papa hated him from the start is because he looks like that Izaya. What if he give him back to Izaya? He doesn't want Izaya he only wants his papa. Psyche sniffled as he burrowed his head on the pillows, his arm in an awkward position. There's a knock outside of the door but he he remained lying still afraid to confront his Papa until a warm sensation runs to his cheek. He jerked out and saw a shadow. Celty's shadow to be exact. Psyche runs to the door and open it widely, launching straight at Celty. He could feel Celty's arm wrapping around him.

 

"Auntie Celty." Psyche sniffles as he burrowed his head on Celty's chest. Celty patted his head and guided him to his bed before showing him her PDA

 

[How are you?] Celty asked. Psyche nuzzled his head on Celty's chest.

 

"I don't know Auntie Celty. I'm confused and scared and my arm is hurting." Psyche said while sniffling. Celty wrapped her arms around Psyche and they stayed like that until Psyche looks up at her with a frown.

 

"Did you know Auntie Celty?" Psyche asked with a frown. Celty tilted her head in confusion. "That Papa is not Psyche's real papa." Psyche continued. The two stared at each other before typing at her PDA.

 

[I do.] The PDA reads. Psyches stares at the words before tears started to leak from Psyches eyes making Celty flails her arm in panic.

 

"Why does nobody told Psyche the truth?" Psyche said, crying. "Auntie Celty who is Mama?" Psyche asked while crying. He never bring the topic about his mother because he thought that just having his Papa with him is enough. Now that he learns that Shizuo is not his father he wonder who is his mama. Is he unwanted that's why he was left by his parents. Psyche felt Celty's warm hand on his cheek, rubbing the tears with her thumb.

 

[I'm not the one who can answer your question.] Psyche frowned at Celty. [Only your Papa can answer that.] Psyche's frown deepened.

 

"But wha-" Before Psyche could finish his sentence Celty place her point finger on Psyche's lips.

 

[I'm sure he'll answer you. Talk to your papa.] Psyche remains stubbornly quiet. Celty shake her head before typing at her PDA again. [I'll come with you so don't be afraid.] Psyche looks up at him with a pout.

 

"Really?" Celty nodded as he hoisted up Psyche on her arm taking an extra care on his injured arm. Psyche wrapped his good hand around Celty's neck as she walks toward where Shizuo is. When they arrived at the kitchen Psyche shimmied down Celty's hold and looks toward his Papa. His shoulder slumped and a glass of milk in front of him Psyche noticed that his papa's eyes were swollen and red, Psyche bites his lower lip in guilt. He make his Papa cry.

 

"P-Papa" Psyche called, voice quivering. Shizuo's head shot up as he heard his son's voice.

 

"P..Psyche." Shizuo called as he stand up and walks toward his son, pulling him into a tight hug. "Psyche I'm sorry. Don't be mad at Papa." Shizuo said in quiet voice. Psyche hugged his Papa back while shaking his head.

 

"Psyche's not mad, Papa. Psyche's just confused. I'm sorry to make you worried." Psyche said in the same quiet voice his Papa used for him.

 

"Don't be sorry. It's my fault. I keep it a secret, I'm sorry." Shizuo said as he pull away from the hug, looking at his son before cupping his cheeks with his hand, gently rubbing it with his thumb.

 

"Papa are you really my Papa?" Psyche asked. He could feel his father went rigid. "Papa?" Psyche asked as Shizuo sighed patting his hair before guiding him to sit on one of the chair. Celty following them from behind.

 

"Of course baby, I'm your Papa" His father said with a strained smile. Psyche's frowned deepened.

 

"But you said Izaya is my Papa. Psyche don't understand." Psyche asked in confusion. "Then who is my Mama?" Psyche asked the question he never thought he will ever asked to his Papa stared at him before looking at Auntie Celty sitting beside him who gave him a small nod, taking a deep breath his Papa said something that making his eyes widen in surprise and confusion.

 

"I'm your Mama." The only thought that swam on his mind is How does it happen.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Cliffy cliffy. Lol.  
> I wrote it while I'm at the office sitting on the spinning chair. Spinning like Izaya hahahhaha


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi guysss!!!!! I just wanted to apologized for not updating for so long. Just been with school work and other fanfiction!!!!! If you ship viktuur and like genderbent, please read my fic, Decisions and Choices I have a One Piece fic too. If you like or ship LawLu (Luffy x Law) please read my two story about them, A Promise from Me to You and Got Shipped. *cough*UnashamedPlugging*cough*
> 
> Anyways Thanks for Patiently waiting for my update without further ado!!
> 
> Warning: Grammatical error, misspelled words because I write, I edit and I post.  
> Disclaimer: Durarara is not mine period.

"I'm your Mama." Shizuo said nervously to his son. Psyche stared at him with wide eyes and mouth agape.

"H..how?" Psyche asked him confusedly. Shizuo looks at Celty who's sitting beside Psyche with uncertainty. Celty reach for Shizuo's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Shizuo smiled softly glad that his bestfriend is here to help him.

"It happened few years ago..." And so Shizuo started to tell his son how it all started.

**XxxX**

_It was a normal day for Shizuo, well if you call fighting with the soccer team and uprooting their goal on the ground and swinging it like a weapon normal when he noticed someone staring from the roof top down to him. His brown eyes met with the most striking red eyes he'd ever seen. He flinch at how it stared at him fierce and frowns when there's unknown feeling crept to him. Shizuo growls as the one of the soccer team hit him on the back of his head. He broke their staring session and turn to look at his attacker. He let out a loud roar and the poor soul back off in fear as Shizuo swung the soccer goal to them._

_When Shizuo finished fighting and all the team were laying on the ground while groaning in pain he heard someone clapping their hand. Shizuo growls at the annoying sound and whipped his head to know who it was when he saw those red eyes staring at him with amusement. There again he could feel the unknown feeling in his chest._

_"Wow! What a monster you are.~" The man said to him with annoying childish tone as he smirk at him. Shizuo vein popped on his forehead._

_"Who the hell are you pest?" Shizuo growl dangerously but the raven in front of him doesn't show any ounce of fear. The two engaged in a heated glare when suddenly Shinra arrives._

_"Here you are Izaya. I've been looking for you." Shinra said happily to Izaya then his eyes caught Shizuo's. "Oh you two already met." He exclaimed._

_"You know him?" Shizuo asked angrily._

_"Ah yeah.Shizuo this is Izaya he may be an asshole but he's a good friend of mine." Shinra introduced the both of them._

_"My.. Shinra you hurt my feelings." Izaya said dramatically and turn his gazed to Shizuo looking at him from toe to head then gives Shizuo a flirty wink. "Nice meeting you, Shizu-chan~" He drawled at the end, stretching his hand for a hand shake. Shizuo shivers at the look Izaya was giving him and his heart started to beat annoyingly. Shizuo glared at Izaya, hating the feeling that the raven was giving him._

_"I don't like you so fuck off." Shizuo spat._

_"Too bad, I like you so you can't get rid of me." Izaya shrugs and Shizuo's cheek get warm at the way the raven looks at him. Unable to comprehend what was happening to him the only thing that came to him is to grab the discarded pole at his side and swing it to Izaya's direction but the raven haired dodge it easily and with a blink of an eye he was already infront of Shizuo, winking in flirty manner before slashing him on the chest. Shizuo's unarmed hand fly to his chest to feel that there's blood trickling from it. Shizuo sneered angrily at him._

_"You fucking pest." Shizuo growled but the raven only blow him a kiss teasingly before running off which irritates the blond more.And their cat and mouse game started._

_Day by day withouit fail Shizuo and Izaya are always making a ruckus, Izaya always teasing the blond but that change one day when Izaya pinned down Shizuo at one of empty classroom. The two were panting very hard due to their chase as Izaya looms on top of Shizuo a playful smirk on his face whilst Shizuo were glaring at him._

_"What the fuck flea?!" Shizui asked with a growl and Izaya's smirk widens as he lean closer to Shizuo's face._

_"You know Shizu-chan." He started "I really like it when you are underneath me." He said purring. Shizuo's eyes widens and his face burns as Izaya nuzzles his nose on Shizuo's ear._

_"W..What are you doing? Have you gone crazy?" Shizuo stuttered as he try to pry out of Izaya's hold but Izaya's hold were stronger. Stronger than his monstrous strength. Izaya giggles as he stared at Shizuo's reddening face._

_"Nope, silly Shizu-chan. I'm already crazy." He said giggling. Shizuo were looking at him with widened eyes and his breath hitches when Izaya spoke in a low husky voice. "I'm crazy for you." He said almost growling. His eyes almost glinting with want. Shizuo gulps as he stared at Izaya, his heart thumping wildly inside his chest._

_"What are you saying?! I don't understand you?" He shouted to hide the nervousness he feel._

_"I was saying that I like you." Izaya said with a pout. "You're so dense." He added as he let go of Shizuo's wrists and cross his arms around his chest, sitting on top of the blond. Shizuo looks dumbfounded at him._

_"Y..You like me?" He asked in surprise. He really doesn't understand what the hell was on Izaya's mind. "You gotta be kidding me?" He said not believing the dark haired guy on top of him. Izaya only huffed as he look at Shizuo still pouting._

_"No I'm not. That's why I'm telling you that you are so dense. I'm always showing you how much I like you everyday. I even confessed to you the first time we introduced to each other." He said. What the fuck. Shizuo's mind supplied. He doesn't remember anything Izaya did to him. All he fould remember was all the torture he went through just to make all the local gangs stop attacking him, all the blames that he didn't even do and his missing things. Wait. What the fuck indeed. Shizuo looks at Izaya with an irritated frown._

_"So all the suffering I went through was yor way to tell me that you like me?" Shizuo asked_ _incredulously _. Izaya grins widely as he nodded his head enthusiastically. Shizuo would snort at the way the flea answered like a child if not at their compromising position but Shizuo sighed instead, rubbing his face with his palm.__

_"Izaya that's not showing your affection to me. That's called bullying." Shizuo said as he look at Izaya seriously._

_"Eh?" Izaya said dumbfounded. Blinking he shrugged his shoulder before smiling again. "Well it's still the same. So Shizu-chan I like you I know you like me too." He said in a singsong voice. Shizuo sputter at that, face heating up as_

_"H..how did you know?" Shizuo asked stuttering his face still red. Izaya stared at him with wide eyes. He was sure that he really concealed his feelings to Izaya Those annoying feeling he felt when he first met Izaya were soon realize that he fell in love at first sight with the crazy bastard but he hide it because they were supposed to be rival._

_"Eh really? I just said that but I didn't know you actually like me too." Izaya said with a happy smile. "I'm glad I thought I need to kidnapped you just to be mine." He said with a serious tone. Shizuo shivered in both fear and excitement at the voice Izaya used._

_"You're kidding right?" He asked at Izaya who still grinning despite the seriousness of what he had said._

_"Of course I'm not kidding silly." Izaya chirped then the glint in his eyes changed into a dangerous one making Shizuo gulps in nervousness. "Now, time to claim my price." Izaya said with a smirk before leaning down to Shizuo, capturing those sweet lips with his own. Shizuo let out a tiny gasp when Izaya started to suck his lower lips and in that exact moment the raven haired take this opportunity to plunge his tongue inside the blond's open mouth tasting every inch and corner of his mouth. Izaya groans pleasurably and started to grind their hips together his hands travelling inside of Shizuo's shirt. The movement send out a pleasurable tingle all through Shizuo's body. Just like what Izaya said he claimed Shizuo as his own, marking every inch of his body until everyone recognize that Shizuo was his._

_In the next few weeks. Shizuo couldn't be happier in his life. Finally someone that will love him despite him being a monster. For all tbe years he had lived he thought that he was going to be alone forever that no ones wants to be with a monster like him but all that proves wrong when Izaya confessed, more like pinned him down inside an empty classroom and harassed him with his usual craziness. It's not like those romantic shit he always watched on tv but still it counts as a love confession right. Weeks passed then the week turn to months that's where everything change._

_Shizuo noticed that something was weird. Izaya's behavior changed. He doesn't pester Shizuo for his attention anymore, the gangs that fighting him were decreasing and Izaya rarely goes to school he may not look like it but Shizuo was sure that Izaya never did once skipped school. A nagging feeling crept on Shizuo's chest. What if Izaya realized that Shizuo is not worth it? That he really just a monster like what everyone was saying. Shizuo shake his head to get rid of those thing that invading his mind. Of course Izaya wouldn't do that. Izaya loves him. But then where is Izaya? Why does he not talking to him anymore. Shizuo doesn't know what to think anymore._

_"Hey Shizuo-kun, are you alright?" Shinra asked him worriedly. The two were walking on the sidewalk ready to go home when Shizuo suddenly stumble to the nearest trash bin and throws up the food he consume earlier. with one last retch Shizuo stood up straight and wipe his mouth with his sleeves, grimacing at the nasty after taste of the bile._

_"I dunno. I've been under the weather this past few weeks." Shizuo said weakly, feeling nauseous. Shinra nodded, his eyes calculating Shizuo's state and true to his word Shizuo looks pale._

_"Let's go to my apartment first. I'll run a quick check up to you" Shinra said worriedly. Shizuo only nodded he didn't refuse because it is already hard to fight back the nausea._

_On their way Shinra needs to support Shizuo as he was always stumbling due to dizziness and fatigue which is hard for Shinra because of their height difference. Fortunately they met Celty halfway. Celty helped him to carry Shizuo to their apartment. Upon arriving Shinra immediately check Shizuo there are already a suspicion on the back of his mind but didn't push it as it was impossible but when all the test came positive he almost gawk at the result._

_Pregnant._

_When he told Shizuo his result he almost got a punch on the face. Almost. Good thing Celty was there to stop the fist that will be connect on his face. Thank you my beloved._

_"That's impossible. I'm a guy." Shizuo said groaning. Shinra agreed._

_"Did you ate something weird or anything?" Shinra asked in his doctor mode already calculating how this happen._

_"Naah. My mom packed me a bento and when she couldn't I always buy my food on the cafeteria." Shizuo answered, massaging his head._

_"Anything weird?" Shinra pressed. Shizuo almost growled but Shinra just stood there._

_"The only weird thing that I remember that happen to me is when you stitch my wound and uses an anesthesia but the fucking anesthesia didn't work just doubled up the pain." Anesthesia? He knows that anesthesia numb the pain not to double the pain. Not unless. Shinra gasped and turn his attention to Celty who is busy nursing her best friend._

_"Celty, the anesthesia that I asked you. Where did you get it?" Celty tilts her head and type on her PDA._

_[At the usual place.] Celty said innocently. Shinra's eyes widen and curse loudly. Shizuo looks at Shinra suspiciously._

_"What is it, Shinra?" Shizuo asked a little bit nervous. Shinra fidgeted slightly at the heated glare Shizuo was giving him._

_"You see I think injected you the wrong liquid." Shinra said sheepishly. "I remember that my father borrowed my clinic and did his experiment there. So I remove all of my things there and change it to different place. I forgot to tell Celty. I'm sorry." Shinra said in an apologetic voice. Upon hearing her name and her mistake Celty flails her arms and apologize frantically to Shizuo. Shizuo felt an incoming headache aside from the nausea he felt earlier the two looks at him sheepishly a question left hanging in the air Shizuo let out a deep sigh._

_"What?" He growls. Shinra let out a tiny squeek while Celty flinch then Shinra took the courage to voiced out the question albeit a little bit afraid._

_"So you're at the receiving end?" At the question Shizou blinks and when the question sinks in his face explode into a warm red. Shizuo splutters clearly embarrass._

_"Wh..What the fuck, Shinra?" Shizuo stutter. Shinra chuckles and shrug._

_"I just didn't expect it." Shinra answered. It was not a secret to his friend that the two were dating. It was actually Shinra's intention to hook up his two friends from the start seeing how Izaya is he knows somehow Shizuo could help Izaya and he is not wrong because now Izaya will do something stupid that will hurt his blond friend. He is not in the place to interfere with the two but Izaya already made his decision and no matter what he say he will not listen to him. "So what will you do? Are you going to tell Izaya about this?" Shinra ask with a lot more seriousness. Shizuo got quiet and after a long silence Shizuo finally answered._

_"I don't know."_

_In his room, laying on his bed Shizuo was thinking about his situation. His hand unconsciously rubbing his stomach where a new life started to develop. He was thinking what will he do. There are doubts attacking his mind. He is scared. Scared that Izaya will left him because of this. He was a monster since back then because of his strength and now there's another reason to be called a monster. What if Izaya doesn't want it and he still wasn't sure if he is ready to become a father, mother or what ever he will be. What if his child turn out to be a monster like him. He doesn't want his child to experience what he went through. Doesn't want his child to feel the isolation he felt just because of his abnormality. He really needs to talk this things to Izaya he was sure Izaya knows what to do because he is smart. But the problem is it's been a week since he saw Izaya and doesn't know what happen to him. Taking a deep and shaky breath he reach out for his phone on top of his bedside table. Unlocking it he saw an unread message, opening the message he let out a sigh of relief and happiness. It was from Izaya, asking him if they could met after class. Feeling giddy he replied to his text agreeing to meet up with him. Tomorrow he will tell Izaya about the new life growing inside him._

_Tomorrow _came and now he was on his way to the roof top, their usual place. When he arrive Izaya were already there waiting for him. When Izaya heard him approaching he looks at him. Shizuo gave him a slight smile. But Izaya just stared at him with no emotion on his face. Shizuo had a bad feeling about this. He doesn't like the expression Izaya was giving him. It was cold and harsh.__

_"Shizu-chan let's break up." Izaya said in a low voice after the moment of silence Shizuo looks at him, his eyebrows knit in confusion._

_"W-why?" He said as he look at Izaya, hurt and confusion evident in his eyes. Izaya only shrugged and looks away at him._

_"I was chosen to study abroad as a scholar seeing that I have a good grade." He explained._

_"So you're choosing this scholar shit instead of me?" of us? But he couldn't say the last word as Izaya looks at him seriously._

_Yes, I'm sorry Shizu-chan." Shizuo look at him, tears now leaking down his eyes._

_"Why? Why did you choose it instead of me? What am I too you?" Shizuo shouted as his tears started to leak down his face but Izaya only looks at him silently_

_"Izaya don't leave me please, I love you" He said in a heart breaking voice as he hugs Izaya tightly. Izaya laugh lightly then his laughter turn manically as Shizuo looks at him confused._

_"Love? You love me?" Izaya said in between his laughing fit. "I'm sorry Shizu-chan but you got the wrong idea." he said as he smirks at the blond. Shizuo's confused face darkened into rage._

_"What are you saying?" He asked as he glared at Izaya who still smirking at him he clenched his fist tightly the nails dug at his palm._

_"Oh Shizu-chan did you believe all the things I'd said to you? But sorry to break your bubbles but none of them were true and we don't share the same feeling after all I can't love a monster like you I just took pity on you as I saw how you craved to be loved." Izaya chirps still smirking. Shizuo's glare intensifies as Izaya laughs at him "Poor you"_

_"YOU FUCKING BASTARD" Shizuo shouted in rage as he swing a fist at Izaya's face making the raven haired fly a few distance from him. He stalks towards Izaya and clutch the collar of his uniform. "I fucking hate you Izaya, I wish I didn't met you and fell in love with you. Don't ever come back here you shit or else I'll kill you with my bare hands." Shizuo said looking at Izaya straight in the eyes, his voice dripping with hatred. With one last punch he stood up and walk away from the raven haired. "Shit" he cursed as he wipes the tears that flows freely again from his cheek with the back of his hand._

_  
_After that Izaya never return to school and Shizuo left heartbroken and lifeless. His friend and family were getting worried.__

_"Hey Shizuo-kun you should take care of your self more. Think about your child." Shinra said worriedly. Shizuo turn to look at his friend._

_"Fuck you. Fuck this child. Fuck everything." Shizuo snapped. "I don't want any of this anymore. Shinra get rid of this fucking thing growing inside me. There's no point in keeping this inside me. Izaya doesn't care for me and I know if I ever told him this he will just going to rub it on my face that I'm a monster who can carry a child. Now get rid. of. t..this." He said the last word with a choke as fresh tears started to leak out from his eyes. They were inside of his room. He stopped coming to school as well, What Izaya told him hit him so hard. As he thought it was meant for him to be alone._

_"Shizuo-kun please don't talk like that. It was never Izaya's intention to hurt you. Maybe Izaya have a reason to do that." Shinra tried to console Shizuo but the blond only snort._

_"Yeah fucking right. I'm not going to believe in some bullshit." Shizuo said as tears smudge on his face. Celty tap Shinra's shoulder when he tried to reason out again._

_[Can you let me talk to him?] Celty typed as she get Shinra's attention. Shinra looks at the two before nodding and left the two alone but still worried to Shizuo. When Shinra left Celty wipes Shizuo's tears with her gloved hand._

_[Shizuo please don't talk like that to your child. It was not its fault. I'm angry with Izaya at what he did to you but please don't take your anger on your unborn child. Please.] Shizuo stared at Celty ashamed at his outburst. He really doesn't want to get rid of it, now that he was thinking clearly he regret what he said._

_"I'm sorry." Shizui said in a quiet voice intended for his unborn child and for Celty. "I'm sorry." He hiccuped as tears leaks out his eyes_

_[It's fine. Cry it all out I'm just here.] Celty then hug Shizuo tighter, rubbing his back as Shizuo cry his heart out._

_A few months passed since Izaya left they already graduated it was a good thing that he still doesn't show when his school year ended and now it's Shizuo's due date. His pregnancy didn't take long since it was different from a woman's pregnancy. But Shinra made sure that Shizuo and his baby to be always healthy. His pregnancy were kept  a secret nobody knows it except for Shizuo himself, his two friend and his family. It was Kazuka that learned first and a few convincing from him, Shizuo decided to tell his condition to his parent. At first they didn't believe him because it wasn't natural for him to get pregnant but after showing some proof they believe him. At first his parent got angry and upset for not telling them about his relationship but it vanished and turned to worry and anger as they learned what his ex-boyfriend did to him. They supported him and never treated differently and for that he was really thankful even though he only bring shame to his family he was still accepted. Now he was at Shinra's clinic waiting to deliver his child his whole family were outside waiting for him. He was scared at first. Shinra told him that it was dangerous that there's a low chance of him surviving if they did the usual procedure. But then Celty came up with an idea to use her shadow._

_It was successful after a long agonizing and painful hours the baby delivered safety. Shizuo was clearly exhausted with the unnatural way they did. Celty were carrying his newborn baby and Shizuo were very eager to see his child despite of his exhaustion his family were now surrounding him excited to see the new addition of their family. When Celty give Shizuo his child Shizuo's eyes widen slightly. The child have a dark raven hair and his closed eyes opened slightly his irises were red (that will eventually turn to pink , like Izaya. He turn away to his grinning son as painful memories with Izaya flashes to his mind_

**XxxX**

"And that's what happened ten years ago." Shizuo finished his story to Psyche. "Then after you were born I refused to look at you. Heck, I wasn't even the one who gave you your name. It was your Uncle Kasuka that named you and it was my parent who practically took care of you when you're still a baby. For whole 10 years I didn't do anything I just let myself live in the past I didn't do anything to move on." He continued. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears that he tried to stop. He doesn't want to cry anymore he was tired of crying. "I'm sorry Psyche because you look exactly the same as your father I neglected you. I'm just afraid that if I love you, you will leave me just like what your father did to me. I know I'm an idiot for thinking such thing. But I'm just scared to be left alone by someone very precious to me. I m not worthy to be called a father or in this case a mother." Shizuo finished his voice were quivering at the last question. He looks down clearly ashamed and he refuses to look at his son's eyes. Afraid that if he ever look at his pink orbs he could only see hatred and anger. But then he felt a feather light touch on top of his shaking hands Shizuo looks up to see his son's teary eyed pink orbs full of understanding and forgiveness and Shizuo couldn't help but let out a slight sob and the the tears he tried to hold just fall freely.

"Idiot Papa. Psyche already told you right that Psyche forgive you and this is not your fault. I don't hate you. I love you." Psyche said through sniffs. He climbed on top of the table and crawl to his father to wrapped his arms around his father's neck and hugged him tightly, nuzzling his tears smudged face on Shizuo's neck. Shizuo wrapped is arms around Psyche's body, pulling him closer to him. As the two cried on each other's arm Celty watches the heartwarming scene in front she can't help but melt at the sight. She was happy that finally Shizuo let out what he truly feels. It was painful for Celty to see her friend hurting like this unable to help because it is not her place to meddle. But now finally Shizuo let everything spilled without care.

After the long silence, wrapped in each other's arm Shizuo called out softly to Psyche, his son now sitting on his lap.

"Psyche, if you want to know your other father I won't stop you. You're free to do so." Shizuo said with a soft voice. Both Celty and Psyche looks at Shizuo, shock evident on their face and in Celty's case, body language.

Psyche stared at his Papa not sure what to say. Is he really ready to face Izaya, his other father the one who hurt his father the most?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know it's kinda rushed. I'm sorry!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi I'm back with a new overdue chapter. Thank you for waiting patiently. 
> 
>  
> 
> Happy Holidays. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: Grammatical error, misspelled words because I write, I edit and I post.
> 
>  
> 
> I noticed that Izaya is so very much OOC all throughout of my story //sigh. Anyways without further ado
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Durarara is not mine.

"It seems you are fine now Izaya-kun." Shinra said as he check Izaya's condition. Izaya had stayed the night at his friend's apartment. Though Izaya didn't want to because if Shinra doesn't want to tell Shizu-chan's address then he will find another way but since his condition is a little bit on the edge Shinra insisted for him to stay.

 

"I'm already fine since yesterday but a certain idiot here wants me to stay." Izaya said with a bite with every word. Shinra only shrugged at Izaya's and only smile.

 

"But you're not a doctor.." He started but Izaya cut him out.

 

"Because you're the doctor. Yeah right Shinra. You don't even have a liscense so how sure can you be." He said with a roll of an eye. 

 

"Excuse me. I've studied medicine with my whole life I know all of its field like the back of my hand. Licensed or not I'm the sought doctor in the underground world." Shinra boasted patting his chest proudly. Izaya smirked at his friend clearly enjoying at teasing his friend.

 

"Yeah yeah you're still a quack doctor." Izaya said in a sing song voice. Shinra's pouted more as he clearly understand that Izaya's teasing him. "Anyways quack doctor, can I have Shizu-chan's address?" He asked suddenly still not letting go about that simple information. Shinra gave him a stern look, 

 

"No." Izaya rolled his eyes.

 

"Please." He tried again but Shinra stubbornly remain tight lipped. 

 

"I will asked Shizuo-kun's permission first. I don't want him to get angry at me specially Celty. She's very protective of him." Shinra said apologetic. Izaya sigh defeatedly. 

 

"Fine whatever. Can I go home now?" He asked. Shinra nodded and at that Izaya decided to leave not listening to his reminder. Whatever if he doesn't want to give their address he can still go to Psyche's school maybe the kid, his son might listen to him. Hopefully. 

 

There are many things he wanted to explain at them, to tell them but he wonder if they will believe him after all what he told at Shizu-chan a few years back was very harsh and painful even him got hurt at what he told at his beloved monster. He thought by doing that he can protect him from the future pain but he was wrong. During his stay at Shinra the quack doctor had told him everything that happened to Shizu-chan when he decided to break up with him, all the sufferings that Shizu-chan and Psyche-chan endured during those time. Everything. Izaya felt guilty. It was all his fault and no matter how many sorry he chant to them it can never be fix anything. Just like what Shinra told him he was indeed an idiot and it took him years to realized it when it's completely too late. That's why right now he will do everything just to fix it he doesn't care if Shizu-chan never accept him in his life again as long as they knew that he still cared for him and already care for their Psyche-chan is fine with him. He will never be contented but he can endure it.

 

His feet brought him at Psyche's elementary school conviction on his face but when he saw Psyche exited the gate he stopped on his tracks. He felt immensely guilty at the sight. Psyche have a cast on his arm, he was walking beside the kid that looks like Shizu-chan. The two were walking side by side happily and Izaya doesn't want to take it away by just appearing in front of him. When all of his conviction are gone and changed by a guilty feeling he turn around to walk away of their sight suddenly a childish voice called out to him.

 

"Izaya?

* * *

* * *

 

It's only last night when his Papa told him everything. At first when he learned that Izaya was his real father he thought the reason why his Papa was cold to him from the start was because he was not really his real child that's why he avoid talking to him on their way home and shut himself to their room in fear that his Papa will confirm it but then his Auntie Celty came and talk to him and convinced him to listen at what his Papa will say so he listen but what his Papa told him are very different at what he thought. The revelation of his Papa left him confused and so his Papa started to narrate what happen the first time he met Izaya. At the end of his story his Papa asked him his forgiveness again but Psyche were not angry at him from the start he was just confused why but now he knows. Because of his face. He looks exactly like Izaya who had hurt his Papa very much and with that he started to hate his own face a little because of it he's making his Papa relieved some bad memories but his papa assured him that it will never happen again as he promised to move on from the past. As they basked in silence and comfort in each other's arm his Papa dropped another statement that left him thinking and told his Papa that he will think about it and asked his Papa the same.

 

"Do you still love Izaya, Papa?" He asked and noticed how his Papa stiffened at his question, looking down in shame and at that moment Psyche understand what it means. He gave him a wide toothy grin and Shizuo smiles warily back at him. The question remains unanswered but Psyche already knows what his Papa's answer.

 

Psche at his young age were very smart and always have a different perception of things it may not show because of his childish demeanor but he is very aware of it that's why he thought very hard about the story and put himself on Izaya's shoes. The way his Papa describe his relationship with Izaya seems that guy loved him then he thought back their encounter with him earlier. The way he acted seems desperate. Desperate to talk with his Papa, desperate to get his attention and there's another expression he couldn't forgot. The guilt in his face as he look at the both at them. Maybe, maybe there's something behind the action he did a few years ago and that is what Psyche wants to know.  That's why when he saw Izaya standing near their school he called out to the guy, Tsugaru at his side. He'd already told everything to his best friend because he is very important to him and keeping a secret with each other will only hurt the both parties or that's what his Uncle Shinra always telling him.

 

"Izaya!?" The said man flinches and whip his head to them. Psyche looks at him wondering if he grow up he would be a look alike of Izaya. Tsugaru gripped Psyche's hand comfortingly.

 

"H..Hi" Izaya greeted awkwardly. "Uhhh.. Sorry Tsugaru-kun and Psyche-chan about yesterday." He apologized bashfully. Tsugaru only nodded and Psyche only stared at him with a frown, the older raven haired stared at them awkwardly. Tsugaru squeezed Psyche's hand in encouragement and Psyche gave Tsugaru a soft smile before looking at Izaya again. 

 

"C..can we talk?" Psyche asked with a stutter. Izaya look at the little child with wide, hopeful eyes.

 

"Really? Of course we can. I know a place where we can talk. Do you like sweets? Their sweets there are the best. It's Shizu-chan's favorite. Izaya informed a little bit enthusiastic. Psyche frowns at the sudden attitude. Izaya cough a little bit. "I mean if you want to." He added awkwardly. Psyche nodded and look at Tsugaru in the eyes, silently asking him if he could go with Izaya alone and Tsugaru nodded in understanding. Psyche let out a small smile Tsugaru returning it with his own calming smile before looking up to Izaya who's watching them with curious eyes. 

 

"Please take care of Psyche." Tsugaru said to the older man calmly but with a hint of protectiveness in his voice. Izaya blink and smile at the blue eyed kid.

 

"I will. Don't worry." the two stared at each other for a second before Tsugaru nodded and turn to Psyche to bid him goodbye. Izaya let out a breath he didn't know he was holding to know that Tsugaru is kind of giving him a slight ounce of his trust and of course Izaya won't let it go to waste. 

 

The two arrived at the cafe Izaya was talking about in silence. Psyche was staring deeply at Izaya who is looking at the menu. He watch him intently and thinking of ways how to ask him in question when finally Izaya looks at him, placing the menu on the table. Psyche blinks as their eyes met. It's like Psyche was looking at the mirror but the other side was showing him the older version of his self but with deep rusty red eyes. 

 

"Do you like strawberry shortcake? I could order that for you." Izaya asked with a tiny smile. Psyche snapped at his staring when Izaya spoke, nodding at his question.

 

"Really? Okay." Izaya beamed before calling the waitress to order. Izaya ordered a slice of strawberry shortcake with a glass of vanilla milkshake and a glass of water. The waitress wrote their order and repeated it to them to make sure she got it right before stalking of. There again the uncomfortable silence as the two tried to search of something they could talk of. In Psyche case he was thinking of ways to ask Izaya a question he was very curious to know. After the uncomfortable silence their orders arrive. Psyche notice that Izaya only have a glass of water.

 

"You didn't order for yourself." Psyche asked confusedly. Izaya gave him a small smile.

 

"The food here is not good for my health actually." Izaya explain. Psyche tilted his head in confusion at Izaya's answer.

 

"Then why did you bring me here?" Psyche asked. Izaya place his elbow on the table and rest his chin on top of the back of his palm looking at Psyche with a gentle smile.

 

"This is Shizu-chan's favorite place." He answered as memory of him and Shizuo started to flash his mind. Psyche nodded seemingly satisfied at his answer.

 

"Izaya, do you still love my Papa?" Psyche asked him the same question he asked at his Papa. Izaya flinches and stared at Psyche, giving him a pained smile.

 

"I do. I still love him very much. He is the only one I will love actually." Izaya said honestly without hesitation. At his answer Psyche frown.

 

"Then why did you leave him. Us?" Psyche asked in a small voice. 

 

Izaya stared at his son's hurt face. The question he asked caught him of guard even so he knows what his answer still but what really hit him was the way how his son address him by his first name. It hurts but he understand why. He turn away at the pink orbs that was staring at him deeply, clutching his chest as he feel the familiar constricting feeling in there, taking a deep breath to calm himself. It will really get bad if this sudden onslaught of emotion continue. It took him a full minute before the constricting feeling disappear. He look at Psyche again, noticing the tears that swells up at the side of his eyes. He reach up, hating to see him with that expression he wipes his tears away as he gave him a bitter smile.

 

"Do you know why it is bad to keep a secret?" He asked his son. Psyche nodded.

 

"Because it will only hurt the people you love." Psyche answered with a light sniff.

 

"Yes and that's what I did." Izaya said with a sad tone. 

 

"Why?" Psyche asked back. Izaya took a deep breath. 'This is it.' he thought. 

 

"Because I don't have much time left back then." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: (EDITED 12/25/17) SHAMEFUL ADVERTISING: I'M PROMOTING MY OTHER FIC HERE. PLEASE READ THAT AS WELL IF YOU ARE A FAN OF LAWLU (ONE PIECE) I REMEMBER THE DAY AND VIKTUURI (YURI ON ICE) DECISIONS AMD CHOICES, BOTH ARE GENDERBENT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey hey. I'm back with a new chapter. This time with Izaya's past. I know I know I'm late but uni is hectic at the moment and my mind decided to go blank on me. Sorry but I'm here now with a new chapter !
> 
> Before you read it I just wanted to remind you all that there's a lot of inconsistent shits here but don't worry I really tried my best to straightened my facts and connect all the hints I gave away on the past chapter. Also you might read some inaccurate medical description here so please don't throw things at me as I'm not a medical student. I really did my best to do my research. Another one, Izaya really is out of character here. I'm sorry.
> 
> Warning: misspelled words, grammatical errors because I write, I edit, I post.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Without further ado!

"Because I don't have much time left back then" Izaya said to his son solemnly and with a downcasted eyes. The kid blinks his wide pink eyes in confusion. Izaya noticed Psyche's confusion and decided to tell the whole truth about his reason for leaving.

* * *

 

_Ever since Izaya could remember he knows that his life are already counted, that someday he will die. Because he was born with a congenital heart disease and it was a severe case only a heart transplant can cure it. He doesn't understand any of it and he never tried to understand it but the only thing that he understand is that his parents were suffering because of it. His parents may always show him encouraging smile and give him a hopeful words every time he was treated but Izaya knows that on their closed room her mother was always crying, and blaming herself for his situation and her father trying to comfort her with the same hopeful words that they keep repeating to him and telling her that nothing was her fault but enough was enough. Izaya couldn't take it all. He doesn't want to see his parents suffer, doesn't want to hear his mother cry or his father being miserable that's when he have another heart attack that required him to have another surgery and to stay at the hospital again he decided to stop it all._

_"What are you saying, Iza-kun?" Her mother asked in disbelief._

_"I'm saying that we should stop getting me to the hospital every time I got an attack. It's useless." Izaya said with a steel conviction, looking at her mother's eyes. Her mother looks as if crying, not believing her son's word._

_"But. Iza-kun" His mother tried to reason out but Izaya cut her off._

_"Mom, please. I don't want to see you suffer anymore. It hurts me to hear you crying every night. It hurts me seeing you believing that I will get better. But it's useless. The doctor said that I will not get pass 20 right." Izaya said in a defeated voice. His parents looks dumbfounded they never expect their son to lose hope and it tear their heart._

_"Iza-kun please listen to me. We still have hope. There's still a heart transplant. Please don't give up." her mother pleaded, tears streaming down her cheeks as her husband, rubbing her back gently to comfort her. Izaya looks away from her mother._

_"We are waiting for so long but there's still no heart donor and if ever I ever go through heart transplant procedure there's still a low chance that I will survive." Izaya reasoned out but his parents still insist for him to take a risk but Izaya doesn't want any of that so there's only one way for him to convinced them._

_"Mom, Dad let's stop. I'm tired. I don't want to suffer anymore." He said in a weak voice that made his parents stop mid-sentence and look at him with shock and guilt filled eyes. Her mother burst into tears, sobbing painfully as she hug his beloved son, her father doing the same, tears streaming down his face._

_"I'm sorry Iza-kun. I'm sorry." His mother apologized repeatedly. He could feel the burning at his eyes and later the warm liquid flowing his face as he let out a sob, hugging his mother, trying to seek out for comfort as guilt because of what he said to his parent and fear for dying envelops his whole body. 'Everything is for his parents. He doesn't want them to suffer anymore' was the thought that tried to comfort him._

_Later on his parents decided to discharge him and to rest in their house. His parents were still skeptical about his decision but Izaya assured them that he was fine and he was already decided, making his parents agreed defeatedly._

_"Iza-kun, do you want to go to school?" His mother asked him one day. Izaya turn away from his window to look at his mother in question._

_"Yes?" He asked not sure. Her mother smile weakly._

_"Go to school. I mean you never went to school right so I think that maybe you should try it and makes some good memories before you... before you d..die." The last word sound choked as she tried to not burst into tears. She still can't accept the fact that his baby boy were going to die before her. She still have many dreams for him and yet just because of a stupid complication it was all rob off to him._

_Izaya stared at her mother for a minute before looking outside of the window again, seeing two guys his age wearing uniform and laughing to each other. Well the one who wears a glasses were laughing and the blond guy were scowling at his friend. Izaya then notice that the one who were wearing glasses was Shinra, he and Shinra knows each other since they were a kid. Shinra was his only friend. The two met when one day little Shinra saw little Izaya looking outside his window and with some childish curiosity Shinra befriended Izaya. Watching his friend and the guy with him Izaya feels a slight pang of envy. He never went to school because he's always home-schooled and his parents refused him to go at one because of his condition. He wants to experience it once. The feeling of going outside, the feeling of having friends to hang out and laugh with instead of just looking at his window and watching the people come and go. Izaya was deep in thought that he didn't notice that Shinra and the guy with him were looking up at Izaya as Shinra waved his hand, smiling at him while the other one was looking at him with raised eyebrow and when he do Izaya gave a slight nod and a small smile before looking way to turn to his mother again._

_"W..will you let me?" Izaya asked carefully as if her mother will take the offer away. Her mother nodded with a slight smile and Izaya leap to his mother, hugging her tightly._

_"Thank you!" He exclaimed. His mother hugged him back and with a fond yet sad, motherly voice she said,_

_"Of course. This is the only thing I can do for you to make you happy and live with no regrets."_

_And that's how he was walking to the hallway of Raijin Academy with Shinra taking him on a tour._

_"So the reason why you're parents let you come to school is to let you experience before you die?" Shinra asked in a chirpy way but with a disapproving edge on his voice. Shinra knows Izaya's condition and he also know how critical can he be as he witnessed Izaya's attack once. Izaya only shrugged making Shinra shake his head._

_"There's nothing we can do about it. No reasoning can change my mind. Just let me be Shinra." Izaya said with finality. Shinra sense that Izaya doesn't want to talk about it any further and decided to change the topic._

_"Anyways. Do you still remember the kid I was telling you back then?" Shinra inquired making Izaya perk up. He remember it. Shinra always talks about that kid whenever he was visiting him and Izaya grows a mild interest at the boy as how Shinra describe him. Like a monster._

_"That strong kid that lifted up a table, resulting to arm fracture? If I remember correctly his name was Shizu-chan right?" Izaya asked amusedly. Shinra nodded his head._

_"Yeah! That kid. He's also studying here too and also my friend. I'll introduce you to him. Though don't call him that or else he might get angry." Shinra reprimanded but knowing Izaya he will do the opposite just to rile up the other. Sick or not he is a total asshole._

_"Sure." Izaya answered with a glint in his eyes. He can't wait to see what type of human Shizu-chan. Will he make Izaya's last 2 years exciting and interesting?_

_And Izaya got his answer. Shizuo didn't just made his life exciting and interesting. Nope. He gave him more than just that. He made him want to live. The hopelessness he felt were replaced by an urge to continue living and it was all thanks to a certain blond monster._

_Ever since he met Shizuo, Izaya forgets about his illness wherever he was with him. It's as if he was normal like any teenager. Even if he and Shizuo had always their usual cat and mouse Izaya doesn't have any attacks. He could feel his heart beating fast but it is not the excruciating and painful but instead it was exhilarating. He feels alive. Even his mother notice his change of mood and for the first time he saw his mother genuinely happy unlike the force smile he was used seeing on her. Izaya couldn't be more happy._

_He was happy but it is not enough. He was not satisfied with how the thing with Shizu-chan is. He was craving for more, his attention, his everything. He want Shizu-chan to belong to him like how Izaya already belongs to Shizuo._

_He is sick but not blind. He knows that Shizu-chan likes him as well. With the first time they introduced with each other he already comprehend that Shizu-chan is in denial. How did he know? Simple Izaya could read people like they're some open book. Years of nothing to do but to watch people come and go outside his window is a good practice. So one day during one of their daily tags Izaya cornered Shizuo , pinned down to be exact and then and there he confessed his feeling thought it sound more like he's declaring his obsession but who cares it is all the truth and Shizuo accepted his feelings._

_The I like you's turn into I love you's._

_Those months that he was with Shizuo was the best day of his life amd added to that he never did have any attack with those months and he thought that finally heaven had mercy on him but reality crushes to him like a bitch. One night he woke up with a crushing pain on his chest, he was writhing in pain on his bed, one hand clutching on his chest while the other were reaching at the alarm on top of his desk. This is not the first time Izaya had an attack at the middle of the night that's why he have an alarm that connected to his parents room but it is the first time that he had an attack that so much painful that he was in the brink of unconsciousness. Good thing his parents arrived immediately before he completely passed out._

_When he woke up he was in the familiar hospital with the familiar beep of the machine that connected on his heart on the side of his bed and his mother was sleeping with her arms as her pillow on his side. He reach up to her mother, making the her flinch and looks up. Her bloodshot eyes widen when she saw her baby boy awake._

_"Iza-kun!" His mother exclaimed hoarsely. When he saw her mother fully he could see the dry tear tracks on her face which makes Izaya purse his lip in guilt._

_"What happen?" He asked weakly. His mother looks at him, her lips quivering and tears starting to form on her eyes._

_"You were unconscious for a week." His mother said, tears falling. "I was so worried. I thought I'm gonna lose you." His mother sobbed pathetically. Izaya reach up and hug his mother._

_"I'm sorry for making you worry, Mom." Was the only thing Izaya could say as his mother started to sob violently. Then Izaya realized that he was in coma for weeks that means it is also a week since Shizu-chan last heard of him. He was worried as well for sure. He will send a message later._

_But later didn't happen as week turn to month. A month of not talking to Shizu-chan. Izaya is now frustrated for month he couldn't even give any explanation to Shizu-chan. But then what explanation would he give to his blond monster? It's not like he knows about his condition. Nope. He never told him anything. He kept it a secret for the reason that he don't want to worry about him nor make him suffer. It's alright that he's only the one who is suffering._

_"Mrs. Orihara, Mr. Orihara can I talk to you?" The doctor started. They are at the hospital because of an attack. His parents nodded as the doctor started to walk to the door but Izaya's voice stop him on his track._

_"Say it here. The thing that you need to tell to my parents. Please." Izaya said. He already had a vague feeling about it so why give him a sense of suspense. The doctor look at his parents to heed permission and his parents gave it to him. The doctor took a deep breath before steeling himself._

_"I will cut it short. I'm afraid that Izaya-kun's condition are worsening. If he doesn't undergo to a heart plant surgery as soon as possible he may die before the two years mark we gave him." The doctor said with a grim expression. The room was quiet and the only sound that could be heard inside was the loud beep from the monitoring machine. No one speak as the Orihara's tried to process the doctor's words._

_"Is that so. Thank you very much about it Doctor. We will think about it." His father finally said. The doctor open his mouth to speak and tried to convince them but with a one look from his mother the doctor understand it._

_After the doctor left Izaya said something that shocked his parents and made them wept in joy._

_"Mom, Dad. I want to live." Izaya said with tears streaming down his face. He doesn't want to die. He doesn't want to leave Shizu-chan and his parent and now that he experience everything he started to be afraid of death. He cried and cried as his parents hug him tightly. The three cried in each other arms, seeking comfort for the coming unknown._

_"You will live Iza-kun. We're going to do everything just to let you live. So please don't ever lose hope again."_

_Next morning Izaya had a surprised visitor which is not a surprise actually. Shinra already knew about his heart illness but he was still glad that Shinra visited he could finally have some any news about his Shizu-chan._

_"I'm glad you are still alive. You got me worried." Shizra greeted with his usual happy tone. Izaya snorted._

_"Well I won't be alive that long though." Izaya said humorlessly. Shinra sighed and take a seat on the chair beside him. "So how's Shizu-chan." he asked making Shinra snort as well._

_"You're not even going to ask how am I" Shinra exclaimed with a fake hurt tone. Izaya stare at him on deadpan._

_"How are you? There happy. Now tell me how Shizu-chan is." Shinra laughed._

_"Impatient as always." He continue to laugh for a second before going serious. "Not gonna lie. Shizuo-kun looks miserable." Shinra said grimly. "He was really worried about you that he started to think that you're done with him." Shinra laughed for a while before continuing "Izaya-kun why not just tell Shizuo-kun about all of this?" Izaya sighed._

_"You know I can't. I don't want him to get mixed up with this. I don't want him to suffer." I don't want him to leave once he learn how pathetic I am. The last sentence were utter on the back of his mind. No need to tell Shinra about his insecurities. "Hey Shinra can I have a favor?" Shinra looks at him in disbelief he knows that it is not the whole truth but he let it go. Izaya was stubborn like a mule and nothing can change his mind once he set out for something._

_"What is it" He asked defeatedly._

_"I want you to take care Shizu-chan for me while I'm gone." Shinra frowns._

_"Where are you going?"_

_"We're going to America next week." Izaya explained._

_"Huh? For what?" Shinra asked in shock._

_"For my surgery. The doctor said that it was better to do the heart transplant there." Shinra was speechless. It was all too soon. Of course he was glad that Izaya decided to continue the treatment but still it was so fast._

_"You're leaving? You won't even tell Shizuo-kun anything. Do you have any idea how selfish it sound?" Shibra said sounding angry. Izaya didn't say any word. "Izaya-kun please don't do this Shizuo-kun needs explanation."_

_"I'm sorry Shinra. Please understand me. I'll promise when I get back I'll explain everything to him." Izaya pleaded_

_"Whatever do anything you like. But it is not fault if Shizuo-kun don't want you anymore when you get back." Shinra answered defeatedly. Stubborn asshole._

_"Thank you very much. I owe you one."_

_Weeks have passed and tomorrow he will going to leave and so for Shizu-chan to not wait for him, because he knows that he only have a slim chance that he will survive. He lied. He lied instead of telling the truth._

_He told him lie that will make Shizuo angry at him so that he won't have any false hope and wait for him in vain. It was painful for Izaya to see his love crying but he need to endure it. He need to do this even though it hurts._

_He just hope that Shizuo will forgive him._

* * *

 

"And that's what happen." Izaya finished and look at Psyche with a sad smile. Psyche was listening to him intently and he could see from his eyes that he was trying to process everything and Izaya can't help but to feel nervous. What if Psyche won't believe him. Izaya was afraid for the answer. This is his only chance to know Psyche because he was sure that Shizu-chan would not let their son to come near him.

"So you didn't leave Papa because you don't like him anymore. You leave him because you are sick and doesn't want Papa to worry." Psyche confirmed making Izaya nod his head. Psyche frown cutely as he stare at his eyes. Psyche has the cutest eye color it was pink and oddly it suit him and his character.

"You're an idiot." Psyche finally said.

"Huh?" Izaya asked dumbfoundedly. For all the things Izaya expect Psyche to say this is not one of them. "Why?"

"Of course Papa will worry. He love you after all." Psyche said with a nod as if it explain everything which is true. Izaya started to chuckle and turn into a full blown laugh then a sob came out of his mouth

"Yes. I'm an idiot. I'm such an idiot. Idiot. Idiot. A selfish idiot" Izaya said through his tears. "Shinra was right from the start. I'm such an idiot. I've wasted 10 years. Those years that I should have been on your side but instead I choose to be selfish and hurt Shizu-chan then you. I'm sorry Psyche-chan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Izaya repeatedly between sob and sniff he could feel the other customer was looking at them but he didn't paid them any mind. All he could think is to ask forgiveness to this innocent sweet child that he unknowingly neglect. A soft fabric touches his cheek and when he open his eyes again, he doesn't realized that he shut it, he saw Psyche reaching up to him with a soft smile, wiping his tears with his light pink handkerchief.

"I forgive you, Daddy." Psyche whisper in a sweet voice, eyes half close as he smile gently at his Daddy. Izaya clasp the hand that was wiping his tears and bring it to his cheek, pressing and squeezing tightly. Tears flowing again for different reason.

"Thank you."

* * *

 

'Do you still love Izaya, Papa' it was the question that keeps repeating in his mind and the question that he fully know what the answer is and Shizuo knows that Psyche already knows the answer as well. But the real question is that is he ready to trust Izaya again?

Those thought continue to circle to his mind to the point that he couldn't concentrate at work good thing that they didn't encounter any violent client or else Tom-san might get hurt.

"You're really deep in thought huh?" Tom asked making him snap out it. Shizuo turn to Tom feeling a little bit ashamed

"Ah yeah. Sorry." He apologized but Tom just wave him off. They just ended collecting debt and are on their way to the office when a lady on her fifties stop in front of them. Shizuo examine the lady in front of him with curious eyes. This lady give off a familiar aura and even his feature were some what familiar. The lady have his long jet black hair tied in a tight bun, her red rusty eyes that compliments her pale complexion looks sharp but despite of that the lady have a warm, gentle gaze. Shizuo couldn't pinpoint why she looks familiar.

"Are you Heiwajima Shizuo-san?" The lady asked snapping him out of his observation.

"Y..yeah. Why?" Shizuo asked defensively. He doesn't remember this lady and yet she know him.

"I just want to talk with you. I'm Orihara Kyoko. Izaya's mother." And it click why this lady looks familiar because this lady reminds him of Izaya then he frowns deeply. Why does Izaya's mother wanted to talk to him. More importantly how does Izaya's mother know him when they never introduced each other to their parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dun! Dun! Dun!
> 
> Just 2-3 more chapter guys and we're done. So I have a question. Does any of you wanted to know some trivia about this book or anything? If so, just tell me I'll do one and will post it here as an extra. I'm telling you there's a lot or actually just a few. Lol!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This took me longer than expected. I’m sorry.
> 
> I just wanted to remind you guys that I am no medical students. I am a communication major student so any medical diagnose and information you will read from this chapter and to the future chapter are just made up by me. I don’t know if it’s actually can happen in real life or not so please bear with me.
> 
> Same Warning: Grammatical Errors and Misspelled words because I write, I edit, I post.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Durarara is not mine.
> 
> Without further ado, on with the story!!!

 

“Can I talk to you in private Shizuo-san?" Izaya's mother asked again. Shizuo was loss for word, he doesn't understand why she wants to talk with him. Izaya's mother wait for his answer with a patient smile as Shizuo looks from her to Tom-san who was still standing beside him, listening to them.

"Uhh.." Shizuo started looking lost when Tom-san answer for him.

"Sure he can talk with you, Ma'am." Tom answered with a grin. Shizuo turn to look at him, bewildered. "What? We're done with collecting after all. Come on talk to the poor lady. She must be waiting for you since earlier." Tom said with a goodhearted laugh. Shizuo sigh defeatedly.

"Sure Ma'am" Shizuo answered at the lady who give him a warm smile.

After bidding goodbye to Tom-san, Shizuo and Kyoko started to walk to the direction of Russia Sushi in awkward silence and neither of the two starts a conversation. In Shizuo's case, he was getting nervous by the second passed. He doesn't have any idea on what Izaya's mother wanted to talk to, she just remained quiet all through the way and that's why many possible what if's are starting to enter his mind.

Finally, they arrived at their destination, upon entering Simon greeted them. He looks at Kyoko-san with shock-filled eyes.

"Izaya-mama you're back as well. Welcome, welcome." He greeted at her after the initial shock. Kyoko let out a motherly giggle.

"Thank you Simon. Can we please request a private room?" Kyoko asked with a motherly smile still plastered on her face. Simon looks at the both of them confused but didn't ask any question and just guided them in one of their private room. Kyoko thanked the Russian man.

"What should I bring to you, Izaya-mama, Shizu-o?" Simon asked with his broken japanese.

"Please bring me some ootoro and a cup of tea." Kyoko ordered before looking at Shizuo. "What do you want, dear? It's on me." She asked him. Shizuo shake his head to decline the offer but Kyoko beat him to it. "I insist. Please." She said with a smile. Shizuo pressed his lips together still perplexed at the offer but with a one look from Kyoko-san, Shizuo give in. She really is Izaya's mother they are both stubborn.

"Just give me the usual." Shizuo said finally. Simon gave a nod and told them that he will bring it to them.

After Simon leaves, the two remains silent. The awkwardness in the air is very thick and Shizuo can't help but to fidget in nervousness. Fortunately, for him their order arrives but that didn't last because after Simon placed their food down he bid them goodbye to take care their other customers.

"Ma’am, what do you want to talk about?" Shizuo started getting the attention of Kyoko-san.

"Please call me Kyoko instead." Shizuo nodded.

"K.Kyoko-san?" He stuttered. Kyoko smile for a moment before replacing it with worried smile.

"It is about Izaya."Kyoko said slowly, nursing her cup of tea in between her hand. Shizuo went rigid on his seat, his gaze not living Kyoko who's looking at him desperately. He tried to open his mouth but no words came out of it. "Shizuo-san please listen to me." Kyoko continue and finally Shizuo got his voice back again.

"Can I ask you something, Kyoko-san?" Shizuo asked first with a stutter. Kyoko nodded. "Did you know about my relationship about Izaya?" He asked nervously and the answer he received makes his jaw drop.

"Yes." Kyoko answered calmly. Shizuo started to fidget at the answer.

"H..how?" Shizuo stuttered, he was confused at the calm reaction Kyoko was giving him. Most parents usually disagree at their children being in a relationship with the same gender but it was different with Izaya's mother and that baffled him.

"Since then, I asked Shinra about it." Shizuo nodded but the confusion still etched to his face but didn't dwell on to it for now as Kyoko-san started to speak again so he put it at the back of his mind to fully think later. "Shizuo-kun I know what happen between you and my son and I know that you were angry with him, Shinra-kun also told me that.” Kyoko explained, her voice was shaking and her lips were quivering as she said her next words. “That's why I'm begging you. Please forgive him on what he did to you. He never meant any of that. It was my entire fault" Kyoko-san pleaded and Shizuo was shock to see Kyoko-san crying and even shock him more when her words registered on his mind. Seeing his face full of confusion Izaya's mother continue in between her crying but at her next word, Shizuo's confusion disappeared change into full horror as his body runs cold. "Iza-kun, my baby was dying. The doctor marked his life ever since then and he had no choice but to do a full heart transplant surgery to survive. It is the only way to save him." Shizuo still frozen at his seat and no coherent words enter his mind. The revelation from Kyoko-san was too much for him to take.

"Is it true Kyoko-san? Is that the reason why he leaves me?" Finally, Shizuo questioned. He can't believe it. Why Izaya doesn't tell him any of this. Does he not trust him with this?

"Yes." Shizuo open his mouth to question Izaya's mother more but Kyoko speak first that Shizuo couldn't do anything but to listen. "I am not the one who should tell you this but as a mother I can’t take it to see my child suffers any longer more than what he endured. I admit that Iza-kun is very reckless in making decisions but I can’t blame him. You see Iza-kun already accepted his fate. He told me once when he was just a kid that he doesn't want to go to the hospital anymore if he ever had an attack again. My husband and I didn't want any of that. We were still hoping that someday he will be cured but Iza-kun, he already loses his hope because of us. He feels bad for what happened, and always blaming himself on why we were suffering." Shizuo doesn't know what to say as he listens to her. He just stared at Kyoko-san in shock and his mind go back when they we're still dating. Izaya looks very healthy and no trace of any illness. When they were having a tag, Izaya could run fast. Very fast. He can even dodge the projectile he was throwing. He really didn't know or that's what he wants to think. Because at the back of his mind, a tiny little voice was scolding him that he already notice something wrong but still act like it didn't happen at all. Those time when after a long run he saw Izaya's breath become ragged as he clutched his chest and looks like he was suffering or the times that he saw multiple unlabeled medicine bottle on his bag. Those are clear signs that something was wrong and yet Shizuo decided no to pay any attention to it. He grimaces guiltily at that. He really is a failure of a human being.

Kyoko noticed how Shizuo's brows frown and the way he grips his hand. She knows what that look is. She already had enough of that from her son and she doesn't want any of that to see at the man in front of her. Reaching for his hand, Kyoko rest her hand on top of Shizuo-kun's hand, rubbing her thumb on it gently to ease his fidgeting. Shizuo looks up to see Kyoko's reassuring smile. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"If you said that Izaya had no time left then how is he still alive?" At the question he asked Kyoko's face brighten as her lips curl in to a genuine smile.

"It was all thanks to you." Kyoko said sincerely and his expression turned into a baffled one. “You gave him hope. You made him want to continue his life again, you are the reason why I can still hug my son, why I can still see him alive and full of life and with that, I am very grateful to you. You don’t know how much it means to us.” Kyoko finishes with tears still streaming in her eyes. Shizuo couldn’t believe what he just heard from Izaya’s mother. Instead of answers he only got more questions, questions that needed to be answered.

“How?” Shizuo voiced but Kyoko only shook his head, wiping the remnants of her tears.

“That, I can’t tell. I don’t know the details exactly, only Iza-kun can tell you.” Kyoko said with a solemn smile making Shizuo nodded in understanding. “That’s why I’m begging you, if you can’t forgive him yet, please listen to him first and decide what you want after.” Kyoko continued with a bow. Shizuo stood up abruptly, his arms flailing in surprised.

“Kyoko-san please raise your head.” Shizuo said with a flustered voice. “You don’t have to do that. I actually decided to talk with Izaya. My son helps me realized that I should stop avoiding him and to talk to him.” At the mention of his son, Kyoko’s face turns in slight disappointment that didn’t went unnoticed to Shizuo.

“I see. You have a son already, huh. But I guess I should thank the little one for this.” Kyoko said with a slightly sad mixed with relief voice.” Shizuo scratches his head, slightly fidgeting in his seat. He is thinking of ways to tell Kyoko about Psyche. He guess that since this is Izaya’s mother, Psyche grandmother on his paternal side, she had the right to know about him. Kyoko notices his awkward fidgeting, tilted her head slightly in confusion but didn’t said anything, she just waited for Shizuo to relax again and say what he wants and gave him an encouraging smile. Shizuo cough in his hand and sit up straightly.

“Kyoko-san, about my son.” Shizuo started which Kyoko answered with a hum. “It is hard to understand but actually my son’s father is Izaya.” Shizuo finishes with a slight blush on his cheek which turn into full on when he heard Kyoko gasped in surprised.

“Oh my.” Kyoko started. “I am a grandmother now.” Kyoko exclaimed with a hint of happiness and excitement. “You should introduce him to me. What is his name? Who does he look like more? I want to meet him.” She squealed. Shizuo stared at her in disbelief. He expected a lot of reaction and lot of questioning but not this.

“Uh..” Shizuo utter still speechless. Kyoko stares at him expectantly, happiness evident on her face. “His name is Psyche and he’s a spitting image of Izaya and smart like him even some of his mannerisms were like Izaya’s. I’ll introduce you to him I’m sure he will be happy to meet you as well. He’s such a sweet child.” Shizuo said proudly.

“That must be hard for you then, Psyche-kun always reminds you of Iza-kun.” Kyoko said sadly. Shizuo pursed his lips and shook his head.

“At first but I soon realized my mistake. Like I said Psyche is a sweet child, he forgave my wrong doings without second thought.” He said in a gentle voice.

“I can’t wait to meet him. He sounds like an angel” Kyoko answered with a hint of excitement in her voice.

The two spend their time talking about Psyche, making Kyoko giddy to finally meet her grandson. It is already late afternoon when they stop talking, they were very immersed into their conversation that they didn’t notice the time.

“Uh, Kyoko-san, I need to go now. Psyche must be home now.” Shizuo said sheepishly.

“Right. I should go as well. I’m sorry for taking up your time, Shizuo-kun.” Kyoko said as she stood up from her seat and bows again at Shizuo who just stand up. “And thank you for listening to me and to my request.” Kyoko thanked him. Shizuo flushes, not really used to those kind of gesture.

“Ahh, it’s nothing and Kyoko-san please raise your head.” Kyoko raised her head again and gave Shizuo a motherly smile that warms his heart.

“I need to go as well.” Kyoko said, slinging her bag on her shoulder. The two walk out of Russia Sushi not without bidding goodbye to Simon and Denis as the two exited the shop Shizuo notices two familiar looking mop of black hair on his peripheral but before he could fully see them a fluff of white and pink glomp him, making him stumble as his arm wrapped automatically at his son’s shoulder to balance themselves as Psyche’s good hand were clutching the front of his bartender uniform and his other hand that currently on a sling are pressing on his stomach awkwardly.

“Papa!!” Psyche squealed and nuzzles his head on him. Shizuo smile at his son’s very energetic, affectionate greeting.

“Hi, Dear.” He greeted back, full of fatherly (motherly) affection before frowning worriedly. “Easy, you might hurt yourself.” Shizuo said, cradling his son’s hand on to his and making sure to not aggravate Psyche’s injury further more. Psyche’s gave him a toothy smile and squeezed his hand.

“Is that Psyche, Shizuo-kun?” Shizuo almost forgot that he was with Izaya’s mother.

“Ah yes, Kyoko-san this is my son, Psyche Heiwajima.” He said to Kyoko-san first before looking down on Psyche with a smile as he guide him in front of the elderly woman. “Psyche, this is Kyoko-san, you’re grandmother.” Shizuo introduced them to each other. Psyche looks at him then to Kyoko with eyes full of curiosity and confusion then back to him as if asking him if it’s alright to talk to her. Shizuo nodded to his son with an encouraging smile which makes Psyche smile widely as well before giving Kyoko, who’s waiting in anticipation, a hug.

“Hi, Grandma.” Kyoko’s eyes widen in surprise when Psyche hug her. Psyche-chan really is a very affectionate kid just like what Shizuo-kun said. Overcoming her initial surprised she cupped his soft cheek with her hand and rub her thumb there gently, making Psyche leans on the touch.

“Hi, Psyche-chan.” She said with a smile. It surprised her on how much Psyche looks like Izaya that there’s no mistaking it. When Shizuo said that he already had a son, she was sadden at the information. She thought that by talking to Shizuo-kun she can help Izaya gets back together with him, because she knows how much his son loves the blond and how much he meant to him. That’s why Kyoko did what she thought she could help to their situation. Sure, it is Izaya’s to fix but as a mother it is her job to help him no matter what. It is the least she can do for his son. However, to her surprised and relief Shizuo’s son is Izaya’s as well she doesn’t understand how does it happen but she doesn’t care. There’s still hope for his son. The ten years he endured in the hospital bed in a bed ridden state except to stare at the photo in his phone will not be in vain. She was happy, very happy and as she encased Psyche into her arms, being mindful on his injury, she felt relieve and a burden being lift on her shoulders. Finally.

“Hey, Psyche-chan, why did you run all of a su.. Mom?” Hearing Izaya’s voice, Shizuo flinched and turn to look at the gasping and panting Izaya.

“Daddy, Psyche saw Papa so I run to him then Psyche met your Mama.” Psyche squeal happily. Wait. Daddy? Does Psyche just called Izaya, Daddy? Shizuo’s now very confuse at what’s happening.

“Psyche?” he called to his son.

“Yes, Papa?” Psyche asked, still on her grandmother’s arm.

“You called him Daddy?” Shizuo asked back, pointing at Izaya who just notice him.

“S..shizu-chan?” He gasped in surprised. “It is not you think. I didn’t force him this time.” Izaya explained hurriedly.  
“Papa, don’t be mad at Daddy. Psyche’s the one who asked him.” Psyche said with a big pout. Kyoko who’s looking back and forth at the conversation happening decided to speak.

“What’s happening?” She asked.

“That, I want to know as well.” Shizuo sighed defeatedly.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” Izaya asked instead of answering.

“I talked with Shizuo-kun.” Kyoko answered with a shrug and Izaya’s eyes widen at that.

“What? Did you tell him?” Kyoko shake his head, making Izaya sighed in relief. That gesture makes Shizuo’s eyebrow twitch. So Izaya doesn’t have the plan to tell him what really happens.

“Why?” Shizuo asked suddenly, earning him looks form his son, Izaya and Kyoko-san. “Why did you leave me? What really is the reason you left? Is it because of the scholarship or because there’s another reason.” Shizuo asked desperately, clutching Izaya’s fur coat.

“I’m sorry.” Izaya said weakly unable to look at Shizuo.

“That’s not what I want to hear.” Shizuo growled.

“Daddy you should tell Papa as well.” Psyche pleaded. “I know he will understand if you tell him what you told Psyche earlier.”

“Right, Iza-kun. Don’t make this any harder for the both of you. Remember what your doctor said. Stop suppressing your emotions it is bad for you. You’re still under examination because you’ve just woken in a two years comatose so you’re still weak. You’re not even allowed to leave the hospital.” At the tone, Kyoko was using Izaya deflated.

“What?” Shizuo’s hold on Izaya’s coat. Two years. Two years. For two years Izaya was in coma probably desperately fighting for his life and here he was holding a grudge at him, cursing him for the suffering he endured for ten years unknown to him Izaya was the one who’s really suffering.

“Papa, please.” Psyche’s voice enter his ear and he snapped at his self pitying. This is not the time for that. There’s much more important things than that. Shizuo nodded at his son and look at Izaya who is looking anywhere but him.

“Flea.” That successfully got his attention. “You want to talk with me, right? Then we’ll talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And done. Updates will take longer again because of rl.


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